How I Become Gay
by Late-Sleeper-sama
Summary: Girls are all over me, boobs everywhere I look and invitation to girl’s sleepovers, this is every man’s dream and I’m living it…the only problem is they think I’m gay. Hi! I’m Naruto a straight man pretending to be gay and this is my story. SasuNaru
1. I

**How I Became Gay**

**By: Late-Sleeper**

**Beta-reader: ****Pay Backs a Bitch**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own a thing…

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Chapter 1:

It all started with…

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I took a magazine, flipped through the glossy pages, and cringed at the shallow but colorful article about the latest fashion and tips on relationship.

I always wondered why girls wasted their money on such thing as this.

I threw the magazine over the table, took another one, and flipped through it.

Luckily I found an interesting story in this one.

'_How to pleasure yourself_.'

Heh, I grinned perversely and glanced sideways to check if there was any human being around, seeing none, I proceeded to read the said article.

I always did wonder how girls do it. Hmm… information. I like this information.

I was almost in the middle of the article when Sakura came prancing in, Hinata in tow, in a mini-skirt and bra…

WAIT!

Bra?

Oh my god!

There is a god after all. Thank you oh divine one.

I mentally raised my hand to god and mumbled my praises and devotion. There is a god for the perverts such as myself. Bless that god.

I stammered and tried to hide my face with the magazine, trying to pretend that I did not realize Sakura and Hinata's entrance. However, I could not really stop a large beam spreading from my face.

"Sakura-san! Na-na-naru-naruto is here!" I heard Hinata stammered.

I would too if I was on her position.

"Huh?" I heard Sakura exclaim with indifference, I tried to peek over the magazine and saw Sakura looking at Hinata as though the timid girl was on crack.

And, they call me the stupid one…

I wondered briefly what Sakura was smoking if she forgot a thing such as a blouse. Must be some hell of a good weed! I wonder were I could get one to spread it to all the girls in town?

I tried calmly to focus back to the article I was reading a minute ago and pretended I didn't have a clue about their presence or Sakura's _undress_.

"Na-naru-to-kun is here…" I could feel Hinata's finger pointing at me and even though I was really enjoying the view, I couldn't help myself to sink with embarrassment.

I'm such a closet pervert.

I could feel that any minute now Sakura would realize that I saw her boobies and would now freak out and sack me in the gut.

Damn!

Please pray for me on my deathbed or even, look for the best orthopedics in town to heal my broken bones after Sakura kicks my ass.

I could feel the tension now.

Sakura's power punches aiming my way…

In about…

3…

2…

1…

Now.

"Huh? So? Don't worry Naruto's gay."

My jaw dropped; luckily, the magazine hid my face. I stammered a bit but no coherent word was form from my lips to convey my disdain…

My shock…

Did Sakura just say that I'm gay?

How could she possibly think that?

When the initial shock was gone, I closed the magazine, gently laid it on the table, and turned my face towards the two giggling girls to correct their wrong assumption when to my horror, I saw Sakura undressing Hinata…or I should say forcing Hinata's blouse off, the poor girl.

All coherent thought run out from my mind and I could feel blood rushing through my nose.

I hurriedly, once again, hid behind my discarded magazine. I tried wiping the blood off my nose and praying to all deity that no one saw the trickle of blood from it.

Even though I'm scared to my wits end somewhere in the corner of my demented brain is celebrating for my luck. My pervert self was dancing with glee as my brain immortalized the scene I just witnessed.

Heh, two boobs at the same time…lucky me.

Don't look at me like that…

I'm a hot blooded teenager boy after all…you can't blame me for having rampant hormones if I see naked, fighting, giggling girls.

Heh, I could feel myself grinning perversely as I imagine the two girls fighting…in bed…with only lingerie hanging on their naked bo…

"Sakura-chan! Don't…Naru-naruto-kun may see…"

"I told you. He's gay. He doesn't care about girl's body."

"But…"

"Well if he's not gay…then you could always tell your cousin so he could punch the living daylights off Naruto. So come on wear this instead." Sakura grinned as she tried pulling Hinata's blouse and shoving her another…well, more revealing blouse instead.

Err…yeah now I'm screwed.

Damn you divine someone. I take back all my praises! Why the hell am I in such a mess?

Fuck.

So that's how it started…

Hi, I'm Naruto.

I'm a straight man pretending to be a gay man to save my ass from some ass kicking

….and this is my story.

**:Tsuzuku:**

**Late-Sleeper: **I know, I know, I still have other fics to continue...but this plot is really running around my mind and _-gasps-_ dreams.


	2. II

**How I Became Gay**

**By: Late-Sleeper**

**Beta-reader: ****Pay Backs a Bitch**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own a thing…

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Chapter 2:

**...When the nuisance came…**

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"Hey Naruto-_chan_…" I heard Kiba singing my name in his offbeat tune of his. I cringed as I felt his arm around my shoulder, I could feel his grin widening at my discomfort.

I tried running away but I felt his vice grip around my shoulder tightening. Heh, why did I have such sadistic friends?

"So, did you tell the girls that their cute _queer_ friend is a fraud?" I turned my head to face him and pouted. His grin widens even more as he ruffled the blond fur I call hair.

It's unfair!

The more I tried telling the girls the truth, the more girls are befriending me and undressing in front of me.

Not only would I avoid being kick and mutilated by Neji, now I have to avoid getting mobbed by angry boyfriends and brothers of all the girls I have, _accidentally_, seen naked.

If I were the perverted hermit, I would be laughing with joy.

…and honestly I did…

That is until two weeks ago, and then I felt my life was really in danger. When Chouji punched me in the gut when he heard I saw Ino's panty in Sakura's slumber party.

Then, realization came crushing down on me like bricks.

I fear for my life.

Good thing Chouji is a good friend and he listened well to Shikamaru's explanation. Although the fat ass laughed so hard he almost broke the chair that he was sitting on.

Damn fatso!

Yeah, so basically only my gang knows the truth and they made sure to make fun of me whenever they can. Especially Kiba…

"Naruto, Naruto…why don't you let it go." Kiba grinned while he stretched his hand up to the air. "…let it go and be real. Embraced your _new_ sexuality."

"I hate you."

But that retort only made him laugh. Bastard!

"Come on look at you. You're practically a girl." Kiba eyed me from head to toe then back to my face again, grin even wider than before. "Come on, you're even wearing a hair clip."

I frowned and touched the hair clip on my hair. "Hey, guys are wearing clips now a days, asshole. This is the new fad."

"Says who?"

"Kaoru and Hikaru!" I retorted with pride.

"Who?"

"The characters from Ouran Host Club," I snapped at his ignorance. Che, talk about being a cave man. Who doesn't know Kaoru and Hikaru?

"Fuck, you're even reading a Shoujo manga!" Kiba stopped on his track and laughed hysterically. I too stopped and was ready to punch the living daylights out of him though I restrained myself since I spotted a policeman roaming around. Lucky bastard!

"WHAHAHA god, soon you'll be wearing skirt and frilly dresses. Damn! I'd hate to see th…" Kiba suddenly stopped his laughter and appeared to be in deep thoughts. A few seconds passed when his face had broken into a wide grin. "On the second thought, call me if you decided to wear one."

He gave me a leer, which I retorted with a kick on his groin.

That's what he gets by messing with me.

Kiba dropped down crying as he clutched his _not so precious_ thing between his legs with both hands, cursing me and my whole clan for ruining his family jewels.

Che! I'm doing human kind a favor by making sure he couldn't breed.

"Serves you right dog breath." I chided.

I look down at Kiba and felt a little pity; he was my friend after all even though he smelt like a dog and usually extorts me to take pictures of naked women. I gave a sigh and kneeled down to help him up but a hand suddenly grabbed my arm from behind.

To my shock I saw Sakura glaring at me as I look over my shoulder.

Fuck!

Did she hear what we were talking about a minute ago?

NO!!!

I cringed and stepped backward a bit. "Sakura I could explain…"

"Naruto, why can't you chose a better boyfriend?!"

Huh?!

Sakura glared down at the still sobbing Kiba and pointed at my slumped friend. "That…that _thing_ is no good for you Naruto-chan."

What?!

Did they…

They think Kiba and I were…

A couple?

What the hell?!

I gaped at her as though she had horns growing from her head. I stuttered but no coherent words were form.

That's…

That thought was so…

GROSS!!!

"He's not my boyfriend!" I shrieked…I mean yelled, as manly as I possibly can. Yeah, marines could be so proud of me.

Sakura beamed instantly and hugged me, her boobs crushing on to me.

Heh, again my body was somewhat reacting though in a milder version. I sighed.

"Good! I thought you two were…oh thank god you're not a couple." Sakura beamed wider at me.

I took smile back at her. "Of course I do have a taste you know."

I do too.

If I were gay, which _I am not_, I won't fall for the likes of Kiba.

I want a sophisticated one, with an air of aristocracy.

Heh…

"Good! Now with that said let's go _man hunting_." Sakura squeal with delight while I felt my heart sunk. I looked over my shoulder and saw a grinning Kiba.

I gave him the bird, which he retorted by mouthing the words, '_I love you too_'. I tried to resist Sakura but she was a strong girl.

Too strong that I'm more afraid of her more than Neji or any other guys.

I gave up and let myself be drag away as I heard a faint chuckle from Kiba. I glance at Sakura who was babbling about something…or someone…I really don't get a word she said with all the squealing and gushing.

Well, must be important since I never seen her like this since before I met her.

We stopped in a nice looking café and made ourselves comfortable in a cozy chair near a window. Sakura was constantly looking outside the window as if waiting for someone.

"Hey, why are we here?"

"Umm…" Sakura stammered and blushed.

"Do you like someone Naruto?"

Fuck!

I was taken aback by that.

Is it my lucky day?

Is Sakura proposing to me?

Yes! Thank god…yes sir my faith has been revived once more. Thank you, thank you.

I smiled and willed myself not to blush. "Well, yeah there is someone I do like." I answered honestly.

More specifically, she's in front of me right now.

If only I could say that.

"Oh, what's _he_ like?"

He?!

Oh…

Yeah, I'm gay in Sakura's point of view.

"Well, he's…" I cringed at even thinking of saying a _he_ as someone I like. Poor me. "…is good looking, intelligent, and has a nice hair."

"Oh. Is he in our school?"

Is this a trick question?

"Yeah."

"Hmmm…is _he_ a top student?"

Hmm…Sakura is at the top…so, hehehe

"Yeah."

"Is he gorgeous?"

Where did this fucking questioning lead to? Well anyway…

"Very."

"Good. Is his name Uchiha Sasuke?"

Huh?!

Who?!

Wait…isn't he the number school heart throb? Where girls go gaga over him?

Every gay mans wet dream…

They said that if you don't like him you're not a girl or _gay_…

So…

I wouldn't hurt to lie about that, ne?

This is the safest answer.

Piece of cake.

As if the bastard would mind me adding to his almost a kilometer long list of admirers.

"Umm…yeah."

Sakura beamed wider and somehow I shivered as I saw that beam. Did I inadvertently make a deal with the devil?

"Good, unfortunately for me but fortunately for you Sasuke-kun has declared he's gay! So to test if it's true we want you to seduce him, okay?" Sakura purred happily while I sank deeper on my seat.

God you do hate me, don't you?

"But…but…why me?" I questioned, almost crying out loud.

"Because you're the cutest gay guy in town and the most fuckable ass ever walked on earth. He won't resist you if he's indeed gay as he said. Come on! I need to be sure he's not lying!" Sakura grabbed my arm and whined.

I mentally cried and banged my head.

"But I can't…he won't talk to me."

"Don't worry because I already planned it all. See…" Sakura excitedly pointed towards the door of the café. "He's here."

I slowly turned my head towards the direction Sakura was pointing praying it was all just a mistake.

But lo and behold, walking towards us was none other than…

"Sasuke-kun you really came!"

Uchiha Sasuke.

**TSUZUKU**

**Late-Sleeper:** Merry Christmas!!!


	3. III

**How I Became Gay**

**By: Late-Sleeper**

**Note: Not yet beta-read!!! I repeat not yet beta-read. And I got the sudden bouts of insanity so i'm posting this...hehehe**

**Chapter 3: …then it all began…**

Good thing Sakura forced Sasuke to sit between us. That way Sakura's vision is monopolized solely by the Uchiha, and somehow she forgot lil' ol' me.

I glanced at Sakura who was purring and gushing like a cat in heat as the Uchiha bastard sat their impassively, grunting every now and then in annoyance.

I gave a soft sigh but remained silent.

I'm aiming to blend into my surrounding so Sakura would forget about _me_ existing.

"Why did you call me here again, Haruno?" Sasuke grunted and pulled his arm off Sakura's death grip. I almost strangle him for his rudeness.

"Why don't we order?" Sakura hurriedly called the waiter; totally ignoring the bastard's question on which Sasuke only shook his head in exasperation. The ass!

Good thing the waiter was such a cutie that my anger dissipated a bit as I checked her ass discretely.

I grinned a bit when she swayed her hips as she walked away after getting our orders.

"Why didn't you order anything Sasuke-kun?"

"Because I'm going."

"But Sasuke!!" Sakura whined and I felt a bit sorry for her.

"I'm just wasting my time here. I thought you said you have something _important_ to tell me?" Sasuke snapped angrily at Sakura. I cringed at his biting tone. Creep!

Sakura gave a sad smile but took her hands off Sasuke. She pouted a bit but that didn't work for the Uchiha Bastard, if she did that to me maybe she have gotten what ever she wished for. Sadly, her pout and puppy dog eyes were all directed to a heartless person…that is, if he still qualifies as a human being.

Seeing no positive response from the bastard Sakura face-hardens and gave an apologetic smile on my way. I felt a sinking feeling at that smile.

She's going to do something…

"Of course I really have something to tell you…I'm going to introduce you to my friend." Sasuke gave a quizzical look on Sakura's way, eyebrow cocking up. Sakura beamed at him and in a flash leaned down towards the Uchiha to grab onto my arm. I yelp in surprise. "Meet my friend Naruto. He's gay!"

Fuck.

Sakura still beaming, raved at Sasuke at how cute I am and how many boys wanted to get into my pants.

She also a vivid detailed on how my ass looks like in skinny jeans and how both men and women drool on the sight of my ungodly ass.

I was being pimped!

By my girl friend, my closest friend at that.

Somehow, I feel so violated.

And I feel like crying.

Sasuke gave me sidelong glances with a frown etched on his handsome face. I guessed he was studying me for a minute or two as he listened to Sakura's babble and her _non-subtle_ attempt on pimping me.

Shameless bitch.

I didn't hear what the hell they were saying as I tried my hardest to ignore them. Heh, ignorance is bliss. The less I know the less awkward it would be for me.

I tried drowning Sakura's voice with the soft music on the background and I focused my attention on the waitress who's making cute faces at…

Heh,

You've guess it.

To the Uchiha Bastard.

A tap on my shoulder suddenly jolted me from my pleasure viewing of the cute waitress. I looked at my side and was shocked to see Sakura gone. I was about to ask the Uchiha when he suddenly spoke up.

"She went to the bathroom."

"Oh." That's all I answered. Very intelligible, right?

I played with my straw on my melting milk shake.

Awkward.

I looked at him and made a nervous smile. Really, I don't know what to do. I prayed that Sakura would emerge soon from the comfort room, but since we are talking about such a vain slut…it would take her thirty minutes or so.

I gave a loud sigh and glanced back again to the cutie at the counter when Sasuke had spoken once again, that caught me in surprise. "You're not gay."

I snapped my head to face him. I think I twisted it too fast that I might impinge a few nerves. "What?" I snapped at him

He just smirked and didn't say a thing.

I was perspiring like hell.

How did the bastard know my secret? Shit!

Still wide-eyed I tried to defend myself. "I…I….anou…I"

Shit! Way to go. Yay me! That's me being sarcastic.

Sasuke raised his brow, mocking me to say so otherwise. "You were staring at the waiter's butt longer than necessary. You were even drooling at her breast."

"I…I…You…I."

Fuck! Now I'm screwed!

I glared at him and even contemplated on gagging him with tissue and dragging him to a nearby wasteland and kill him there. Really, I was. Unfortunately, it's a weekend, so it means many people may see me dragging the corpse of the Uchiha in broad daylight.

The bastard smirk got wider and wider as my silent answer just confirmed his little theory. Damn him and all the geniuses in the world.

I was already on the brick of smashing his face with my bare hands when lo and behold the queen of vanity had emerged from the bathroom in less than five minutes. Heh, that's a new record.

"Oh, wow you're two are talking now. How wonderful." Sakura gushed at us though I could hear some acid dripping jealousy with every word she uttered. If only she knew what we were talking about.

The bastard smiled at her, which Sakura almost fainted. "Yeah, me and…" Sasuke looked at me expectantly.

"Naruto." I snorted at him. Damn bastard. At least remember my name.

"Yeah, Naruto and I are really getting along quite well." The bastard even dared to put his arms over my shoulder and pulled me towards him. I wanted to puke at our closeness. Wonder what the hell this bastard is thinking. "And we decided to be alone so that we could talk more _privately_."

"What?!" Both Sakura and I asked-slash-shriek in unison as the fucking asshole smiled as though it was the most normal thing in the world.

"You know. We need to know each other better. Right, Naruto-_chan_?"

"Like hel…" I was cut off when the bastard face descended towards my face, my face heating up with the sudden closeness. I could feel his breath tingling my skin, making me blush…I mean…ah…fine, I was blushing.

"Play along or I'll tell your secret." The bastard whispered to me.

I look at Sakura who was now exhibiting her ten different faces: jealous, fury, angry, mad, mad, mad and more mad faces. Heh, she might have thought we were doing hanky funky just now.

"Hehehe…err…right. Umm…I think we really need to be alone now Sakura."

"Fine!" Sakura frowned and huffed away leaving me and the grinning Sasuke behind.

When Sakura was no longer insight, Sasuke took away his arm and scooted as far, as humanly possible, away from me.

"Dobe."

"Teme."

I glared at him with contempt as the bastard analyzed my face with amusement.

"Here's the deal, I want you to play along with me."

"As if."

"You don't even have a choice, dobe."

I frowned. Damn! He really knows my secret. Just my luck. God is clearly not on my side. Curse you divine deity somewhere.

"What do I have to do?"

The bastard smirked at me as he leaned towards me. "I want you to be my boyfriend."

WHAT?!

**To be continued…**


	4. IV

**How I Became Gay**

**By: Late-Sleeper**

**Beta-reader: Pay Backs a Bitch**

**Chapter 4: …the prince came…**

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I clutched the pink bear tightly and pouted as Hinata combed my hair neatly.

"It didn't go well?"

I pouted more. "He was a real asshole."

Hinata just gave me a 'ah' sound, like it was the most unbelievable thing she had ever heard while continuing on doing my hair.

Heh, if not for Neji and my huge crush on Sakura I really would dig Hinata. She was the nicest girl I ever met and she listens to my every whine and problems.

"I thought Uchiha-san was cool?"

"He's not."

Definitely not.

"So don't go on falling for that guy. He's a real creep." I frowned and clutched the bear tightly, squeezing its tiny arm in frustration. Hinata giggled a bit. "Don't worry. Uchiha-san's not my type."

Ah bless this girl.

I looked at her and raised both my hands to her face as if I was a devotee and she was a saint on an altar filled with beautiful flowers. "Just for that you have been saved from the devil."

Hinata giggled more as she swats my hands off her face. That made me laughed too. Funny how this girl bonding made me a better _man_…somehow.

I heard Sakura entered the room with a loud thumping. I looked at the door and there she was in all her shinning _naked glory_ and I just rolled my eyes.

Wait…………………

This… I just ignored a fucking naked girl with big boobs and only clothed with skimpy little bra and tiny, almost nonexistent, that they call panties.

NOOOOOO!!!

What's happening to me?

"Naruto, are you sure Sasuke will be coming here?"

Oh yeah I remember.

"Yes." '_Bitch_.' Fuck now I sounded like a girl bitching her friends behind their back.

Hinata gave a loud and very disturbed sigh. "Sakura-chan don't you think your dress is too revealing? We have some boys you know."

Sakura lips twitched in annoyance and pointed at me. "The only thing that Naruto is thinking right now is how he wished that he could wear this too." Sakura then pranced towards me and kneeled in front of me.

Then it finally hit me.

The pheromones of women are acting on me once again. Oh thank you divine one. I am getting hard again for a woman. "Sakura would you take away your boobs off my face before I puke." '_And rape you here and now_.' I added thoughtfully. Aww…I'm still a pervert.

Sakura patted my head and grinned at Hinata. "See I told you. He's just jealous of my body."

"Anyway Sakura-chan why are you still dressed like that? Sasuke-kun will be here soon."

"That's the idea."

"But I thought you were pinning on Naruto-kun and Sasuke-kun to be together?"

"Hinata-chan! As if I would go out with that jerk."

Hinata giggled and damn she's cute when she giggled like that. Now I'm really wishing that I'm really a straight man.

Which _I am_. Damn it!

"I can't believe you don't like him, Naruto? I even go on to such length to introduce you two." Sakura pouted at me. Aww…now she's getting cuter by the minute. "One, because he's a jerk." I answered back.

Sakura frowned.

"And two he's vain…I could think of seven _more_ things I hate about him." I grinned as my mind played the soundtracks of Miley Cyrus inside my head. I heard Hinata singing softly after I said that, which I too sang along while Sakura frown deepened.

"Fine! Then all I have to do is convinced him that he's still a man and that my body could still attract him." Sakura posed like a pin-up model in front of us. "I'm going to make him straight with my body."

Then suddenly it clicked. My ticket out!

"Sakura I…"

A knock suddenly stopped my confession. Sakura hurriedly went flying towards the door and opened it wide.

There standing outside the room were Neji and Sasuke, shocked clearly written all over their faces as their eyes landed on Sakura's almost naked body. If I were they, I would be excusing myself now and would be going to a nearby bathroom and do what normal healthy boys would do.

Aww…I'm still a distorted little fool. I happily dance inside my head.

Neji gave a loud uneasy clearing of his throat with his face colored like a crab in a hot pot. Aww…he too was affected by it. He must be a closet co-member of the Jiraya fans club for perverts. Sasuke on the other hand…wait….hahaha nah I guess he too is a member. Aww I never knew bastards like them were on the same level as a person like me.

Though, I must admit I feel a tad bit jealous that some other guys are looking at my _own harem_. Hey, I'm the only one allowed to see them. So shoo!

"Teme." I snapped the awkward atmosphere which Sakura's body made.

Sasuke bend his body sideways so that he could look pass Sakura's body. He gave me a you-look-stupid-in-a-bunny-slipper-grin, which I almost gave him a flip of the bird if only there weren't girls around. "Dobe, I need to talk to you."

"Then talk." I crossed my arms and nudge Hinata to continue doing my hair.

"Privately." He gave that almighty look at me and frowns. Damn conceited bastard!

I reluctantly stood up from where I was sitting and headed towards the door where a still dumbfounded Sakura stood. Heh, seems like her oh-mighty-sexy plan on seducing the Uchiha failed BIG TIME. She's now rotting into oblivion as no one really cares to notice her as I walked out of the room. I slammed the door shut so that we could have some…even if just a little bit, privacy.

"What?" I crossed my arms at him and glared. Damn! If only I wasn't wearing a clip on my hair and a cute bunny head slippers I could really look menacing. Really.

The Uchiha grin at me and touched the clip on my head as if he was on a trance. I tried to evade it so he stopped midways and frown.

"Come on bastard! What the hell do you want?" I insisted as I rest my back on the wall near the door while he stood there facing me. He gave an annoyed sigh and looked over his shoulder.

I too looked at what he was looking at and I felt embarrassed upon seeing Neji still standing there a few feet away from us. "Would you mind Hyuuga? I want to talk to Naruto privately."

Neji frowned at him and gave a small nod at me. "Just call, Naruto if you needed something." Then he left us.

Weird. If I needed something? Am I the only normal person around here?

"So where were we?" Sasuke leered at me. I glared at him. "You want to talk to me about something."

"Yeah, I'm free tomorrow at twelve so we can go to the mall. Just remember no holding ha…"

"WHAT?!" I screeched at him before he could finish. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Dobe, have you forgotten about our deal."

Deal.

What deal?

He must have read my mind or maybe I was looking like a lost dork at what he was saying because he suddenly leaned towards me and whispered into my ears. I actually felt a tingling feelings on my stomach running down… err… never mind.

I tried to push him but he planted his hands around my waist. He was fucking damn strong for a skinny emo kid so I let him be.

"Dobe, we had a deal. You become my pseudo _homo_ lover and I'll keep your little dirty secret." His breath tingle my ear and I actually felt a little horny.

Wait!!!

Okay, fine I have no excuse whatsoever except that I haven't had any wank so I'm actually on my edge. I'm not gay, people. I'm not! Just horny.

"Get off." I pushed him away…or at least tried my best. Fuck! We might have looked like some couple in a chick flick movie. Oh man!

He didn't budge as he leaned in further towards me. "Dobe! Be still. Or do you want them to hear our conversation and blow your cover."

Okay that made sense though his closeness really is truly vexing. I kept still and let him talk in whisper through my ear and I try hard to think of anything else except his hot breath on my ear and neck.

DAMN YOU PEAK OF YOUTH!!! I wouldn't be so horny all the time if I wasn't on my peak of youth. Damnit! I'm even getting hard with a boy! A boy!!!

Note to self get laid…wait…maybe something much reachable…masturbate. Yes, when I get home I'm going to jerk myself to sleep. Yes, I must read porn! Lotsa, lotsa porn! Boobs! Whahahahaha!

"Dobe, are you listening to me?" He whispered angrily at me, his face this time was just a few millimeter from my face.

"Yes." I spit out. I'm such a fucking liar.

"Fine. So we're clear on what our plans on our date?" He asked with an authoritative tone.

"No."

"What? I thought you said that… Dobe." He whispered hotly again and his breath caressed my cheeks.

Another note to self: stop watching shoujo anime and reading romance novel.

"I don't want to." I heard myself half whine half moan.

WAIT!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Shit! Shit! Shit! I'm really, truly, physically getting aroused.

Shit must not think of Sasuke's hot breath on me. I'm not gay! I'm not gay! Think porn! Think porn! Think boobs, lotsa boobs.

Yeah, boobs…

Fuck! Now I'm getting much more aroused. Well on the lighter side of it, I'm still straight! Whohooo! Just fucking horny.

Shit! Think Kiba, yes Kiba's naked body.

Ewwww!

"What the hell are you saying dobe?" He spat at me angrily.

"I said I don't want to." I said with conviction. I finally felt in control. "I want out."

"You do know I could tell them your secret."

"Not before I tell them that I got turn on when I saw Sakura's body just now, so that's make me no longer gay." I sneered at him. "As if they would buy that." Sasuke retorted back, not really convinced with my idea.

"Oh they will. They will." I happily sang it with my offbeat tune. "Because that's actually Sakura's plan on you."

Sasuke frown and let go of my body. "Then shall we try?" He grinned at me as he walked towards the door.

I grin back at him and walked towards the door as he opened it for me. As I entered the room Sakura was no longer in her naked form but is now sporting a cute little pajama with a cute pink bow on the front.

"Naruto want to say something." He grinned at me with malice. I wanted to sneer at him but I felt both Sakura's and Hinata's eyes on me, then I felt it, I felt a bit jittery. I've gotten nervous all of a sudden.

What if they don't buy it? What if they think I'm a pervert?

Well, okay, I am a pervert but they _don't _have to know.

"I…I."

"Naruto spit it out, or do you want me to wring your neck for you to speak." Ah, threats. How can I talk now when she's threatening me?! Shit!

"I…I…" I can't say it. I looked at Sasuke. I don't know why, actually.

"I…I…"

"Naruto!!!" Sakura screamed at me.

Whaaaa she's gonna kill me!!!

"I…Sakura I got… mmhhhphhhhh." I felt lips on my own, which impeded my confession and my eyes, grew huge when I saw whom it belong to. It was actually just a smack but my world froze.

Sasuke grin at me and without even taking his eyes off me as he said. "We're officially dating."

WHAT?!

**To be continued…**

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**Late-Sleeper: **thanks to all those who reviewed…*sniff*


	5. V

**How I Became Gay**

**By: Late-Sleeper**

**Beta-reader: Pay Backs a Bitch**

**

* * *

**

Chapter 5: …then they fall in love…

Damn it! Damn it!

Arghhh!

Why me? Why me? Why did you let me be kissed by that stupid pompous jerk-face?? Why?!

I cried inside my head, kneeling with my arms raised to heaven.

I walked briskly as Kiba followed me with hurried steps; I could hear him muttering '_stupid_', '_wait up asshole_', '_ramen-jerk hole_' and all the profanities a high school graduate could muster. I just frowned at all of it because I had more important things to do, or rather to think about…like world-peace and gay rights and _why-the-hell-I-got-hot-when-Sasuke-kiss__ed__-me_-problem.

ARGHHHHH!!!

I heard myself yelling to heaven, arms raised with a deep pained expression, like I had constipation, written all over my face. Kiba flinched at how I looked. "Hey man, are you okay?"

I frowned and looked at him with hate; he flinched again at my expression and muttered "What?" I frowned more and stalked towards him with one thing clear on my mind.

My expression didn't change until I reached him; he was getting paranoid on how I was looking at him which made him gulp his own saliva. I raised my chin slightly…well mainly because he was taller than me by a few millimeters was.

With a blink of an eye I grabbed onto his head, dipped it to me, and kissed him fully on the mouth, his eyes went huge. Then something curled inside my stomach and I felt my blood draining down my body and signals are speeding towards my brain…

"Awraghhhhhhhhh!!!"

I felt the urge to puke when our lips detached. I found myself trying to throw up what I had for lunch but none came out.

"You fucking moron! How can you do that when you're the one who fucking kissed me?!" Kiba screamed at the squatting me, his face flush with both anger and embarrassment. "I should be the one puking you….you…you MOLESTER!"

I wipe the nonexistent puke from my chin and look up at Kiba with a huge grin. I hurriedly stood up and laugh out loud.

If he hadn't panicked when I kissed him, this time he did. He must be thinking I was mad but I'm not! I'm just happy!

"WHAHAHAHA I'm still straight!!! I'm not gay!" I almost hugged him, but he dodged me with the speed of light.

"What weeds are you taking?" He looked at me with scorn.

I just gave him a toothy grin as I dance around him like a gay tooth fairy who just peeped at a cute little boy in the bathroom who had lost a tooth. Yay!

I was actually gonna do my best Britney Spears dance impersonation when a hand suddenly grabbed me by the shoulder and pulled me to the side. I heard Kiba's loud sigh of relief.

I looked back over my shoulder and froze up when I saw Sakura smiling sweetly at me. That smile didn't seem like it meant pleasure and happiness to me. "Err…Sa…Sa...Sakura…good mor…morning" I tried to twitch my quivering lips into a smile.

"We need to talk."

"Okay." I let her drag me into a secluded place. I made an eye contact with Kiba who wished me a happy voyage to the other world as I mouthed to him '_I'll __haunt__ you when I die_'. He just waved at me and made the sign of the cross.

I almost made the sign of the cross too when we stopped in a shady area where few people walk and few people could hear me scream. I tried grinning again at her, maybe if I make her believe that I'm not afraid of her she would let me be, if not, I could always drop dead and pretend to pass out, it always works for bears by the way.

"Naruto!"

"Yes, your highness and sexiness." I blurted out. She grinned at it but whacked me on the head. This time I actually grinned at her with happiness.

"If you weren't my best _gay_ friend I would have stick you on a pole and throw you to a fire. How could you lie something that important to me?"

I smiled at that. Aww…that's so sweet. Now I remember why I like and adore Sakura so much. "Next time tell me straight up. No more lying! I hate liars! Okay?" She smiled sweetly at me like a child holding a pinky at me to seal the deal.

Ouch!

I mentally felt a large arrow pieced my tainted beating heart. "Okay." I smiled back.

"Though I'm still slightly mad at you from keeping your relationship a secret and even lying to me about not liking Sasuke." Sakura pouted, her full cherry-colored supple lips were kissable. "Though it was kinda sweet that you prioritized me before your own feelings." She smiled sweetly at me and hugged me tight.

I could have dance around and scream with happiness that the love of my life was hugging me and her breast is touching my chest except that I was fucking lost on what the hell she was saying. "Huh?"

She dislodged herself from me and frowned. "Don't worry, Sasuke already told me everything. On how you wanted to suppress how you feel because I had a crush on him, and you picked our friendship over him and that you are willing to give up on him because of me."

Huh?

What the hell?!

"That's so sweet, but I'm your friend too and I won't let you ruin your happiness because of my silly crush." She smiled at me and held my hands. "I fully support you two! Okay! So don't screw up or else." She gave me a threatening look so I just nod my affirmation.

Honestly, I just dug up my own grave which is now 700 feet below the ground, and hey I see Hitler down there AHAHAHAHAHA. _**Kill me now!**_

"Just thank your _boyfriend_. If not for him I wouldn't have this talk with you."

Now I owe the bastard something.

"So now go kiss and make-out." Sakura suddenly pushed me and I thought I was gonna land on my ass when I bumped into something. I heard Sakura giggled and suddenly kissed me on the cheek and then run off.

I, who was gaping and salivating, rubbed the cheek where she kissed and smelled my hand perversely, engraving the memory of her smell and totally forgetting who I bumped into.

"Dobe."

"Teme." I answered like in an instinct. Way to ruin the mood Uchiha.

I spun around and came face to face with the oh-so-suave Uchiha Sasuke while my hand is still over my nose snipping Sakura's scent. Okay, I must have looked stupid like that.

"What do you want?"

"A kiss." I blushed at that.

"Bastard."

"Is that a way to say 'thank you' to your savior?" He smirked at me. I just grimaced at that thought. "Fine. Thanks." I mumbled through gritted teeth. Well the bastard took my half-assed gratitude easily.

"Dobe." He smiled at me and I too got infected with that smile. "Teme."

"So are we good?"

"Yeah, I already dug my own grave why not sell my soul to the devil." I grinned at him.

"Dobe." He shook his head and rolled his eyes at me as I chuckle. Actually I really don't know why I chuckled; my mind is so screwed up when he's near.

"I'll call you tonight."

"Huh?"

"Dobe. What's your number?"

"Why would I give you mine?" I frowned at him. He too frowned at me like I was an idiot or something, which on his mind is already been established that I am. "Dobe, I just told you I'm going to call you tonight."

"Asshole. Why would you call me?"

"Because." What kind of fucking reasoning is that? Because. What?

"Because?"

"Dobe, because." For a flicker I thought I saw some blush on his face but then it became stoic again. "Dobe do you want me to really say some embarrassing things."

"Ow?"

"…"

"You want some phone-sex?" I wiggled my brows at him as I grin maniacally, on which I earned a whacked on the head. The bastard fucking hit me! "Teme."

"Just!" Sasuke stomped his feet in frustration. Oh my god, the Uchiha has finally lost it. He's acting like a spoiled brat. I grinned maliciously at him to let him know that he acted very un-Uchiha right now. He rolled his eyes at me and shook his head. I just grinned wider at him when suddenly he smirked at me.

Now what?

I waited for his move when suddenly he leaned down on me and for a second there I thought my heart stopped as I felt his hot breath on my face. I was actually waiting for him to kiss me when I felt a hand suddenly inserted itself inside my pocket.

The fucking bastard is feeling me up!

"What the hell are you…?!!"

Before I could even finished my sentence Sasuke waved my phone at me. Fucking thief. I reached for it but he was fast as he raised it to a height that I couldn't get. Fucking bastard!

"Give it back."

"I just need your number dobe." He smirked at me.

Actually I really don't have to argue him because _**one**_, this looks like a scene from a chick flick; _**two**_, that would make me the _girl_ being bullied; _**three**_, girls around us are now watching us with hearts in their eyes and I could hear their mind shouting "kiss, kiss, kiss." Therefore, I let him be.

"Fine, bastard."

He smirked at me, which I really hated because he shouldn't be smirking at me like that because: I'm a BOY! Boys don't smirk like that to other boys.

"Here." He handed me my phone after he dialed his number on my phone and rang his phone. I took it like a normal boy would after his friend handed him his phone. Just act cool.

"Okay no problem, _bro_. You can always borrow my phone, _bro_, anything for my brother." Yo! I thumped my chest with my fist and made a peace sign. That was smooth…just act cool. Just act like this is just a normal boy and boy conversation.

Sasuke rolled his eyes at me and muttered 'Whatever.'

**To be continued…**


	6. VI

**How I Became Gay**

**By: Late-Sleeper**

**Beta-reader: ****Pay Backs a Bitch**

**Chapter 6: …they saw each other and smile…**

* * *

Ring…

Ring…

I frowned and took my cell phone off the desk. I looked at the screen and frowned deeper as I saw the unregistered number. "Hello." I answered grumpily.

"Dobe."

"Teme." Che, how could I have forgotten the bastard took my number yesterday? "What do you want bastard?" Asshole, jerk-hole!!!

"I'm going to the mall. Dress now and meet me at twelve at the mall entrance. Don't be late dobe." He ordered me with his oh-so-monotonous voice of his. The bastard. As if I'm his slave or something.

"Fine." Which I am, I thought begrudgingly.

I still can't believe I owe the Uchiha something. Arghh!!! Well, I'm only doing this for Sakura. Sakura, my beautiful Sakura.

"Okay." Then the fucking asshole hung-up on me, talk about having good manners and right conduct, and they call me uncivilized.

Che.

Even though I hated going out, _just as friends of course_, with the bastard I actually don't have any choice. If I want to keep Sakura and Hinata's friendship then I have to play gay…for how long I don't know…

Sigh.

I took my shirt off and hurriedly took a quick shower and brushed my teeth. I even combed my hair so I would look nice.

I would look like a trash next the Uchiha if I don't make some effort to at least look presentable. That's why I hate getting associated with beautiful people like Sasuke…they make you look ugly when your with them.

Heh, so that's why I hang around Kiba…he makes me look like I'm a dashing debonair when we're together.

Whahahaha!

Well anyway, after I finished dressing I went down and saw my father sitting on our sofa reading something. He looked up at me and smiled.

"Going out?"

"Yep." I grinned at him.

I love my dad. He's the only person in the world that was left to me, even though he acts like a mother-hen most of the time.

Ring…

Ring…

My father stood up and pick up the phone before I could answer it. "Hello?"

I saw him frown and rubbed his nose in annoyance. "Who is this? Are you Naruto's _girlfriend_?"

Err…hehehe…

My father frowned and hands me the phone, which I hurriedly grab. "Hello?"

"Hey, Naruto-kun. Are you free today?" I heard Hinata's shy mumble on the other line. Aww.

"Sorry Hinata, but I have a date today. Maybe tomorrow?" I asked. I heard her stutters a sorry on which I smiled. "Yes, tomorrow is okay."

"Okay then it's a date then tomorrow." I could imagine Hinata blushing as she muttered 'okay and goodbye'. I smiled as I ended our short conversation and hang up the phone. I turned around and was suddenly block by my father.

"Naruto!" He growled at me threateningly

"What?" What did I do?

"How many girlfriends do you have?"

Err…none…

"I…I…"

"And don't tell me you just have one. I asked every single girl who called you and they all said they were your girlfriends." He waved his finger at me threateningly.

Heh, if only he knew what 'girl _friends'_ really means.

The Bratz episodes kept flashing into my mind with pretty princess, bunny boo, angel, and cool cat a.k.a as the '_Bratz_' calling each other girlfriends.

That's actually where we, or more specifically Sakura, patterned our friendship calling.

Which my father should never, ever, find out.

He doesn't know I live in a two different persona.

I scratched my nape and grinned at him as he lectured me about the 'birds and bees' and 'how to respect women'. "Naruto! You should never play with a girls' heart." He shook his head as he mumbled where I got the genes of being a playboy.

Even though he shook his head in distress, I know deep inside he was proud of me. Heh, who wouldn't be proud of his son with a million girls calling him nonstop for dates and parties…I'm the man!

"Dad, I really need to go." I hurriedly kissed his cheek and didn't wait for him to finished his lecture…which would take for two or three more hours. He didn't protest that much because I was already out the door before he could call my name, one of the good points of being a fast runner.

I hurriedly ran towards the mall and in record time, I was there with only a few minutes late.

"You're late." I heard someone calls from behind me.

Like five minutes late! What the hell?!

"You're just early Bastard. Why? Eager to see me?" I grinned at Sasuke.

Sasuke looked at me from head to toe. "You wish dobe." He grinned back at me. Damn! I should have dress up more seeing now that Sasuke is as cool as ever, even without even trying. How can anyone wear something so simple and still look elegant, cool and handsome?

If I wore simple clothes like his, I would look like I am just going to a market or the neighbor's house. Life is so unfair.

"Dobe, are you going to stare at me the whole day?"

Bastard.

"Come on." He then grabbed my wrist and dragged me inside. I frowned at where we were headed. "You want to watch a movie?"

"Hn."

"You called me here just to watch a freaking movie?!" I began to shriek…err…I mean grunt…yes…grunt.

"You're too loud dobe. I called you because if I go alone, girls would be flocking on me before I even get to the cinema. You're my shield." The bastard…what am I? A pest repellant?

"Fine, but I choose what we're going to watch." I pouted at him as he rolled his eyes at me as he continued to drag me to the ticket booth.

"Then what do you want to watch?"

"Twilight." I grinned at him. "What?!" He snapped at me as if I was insane.

"What? Sakura said it was good and so does Hinata."

"It was good because it's a chick flick."

"Bastard! It's a fucking vampire movie." I growled at him on which he just rolled his eyes at me.

"They like it because the lead actor is handsome. Or that's what you are aiming for?" He retorted back quickly, smirk in place.

WHAT? How could he even suggest that I, Uzumaki Naruto, age nineteen, obsessing to some actor…please. I'm not even remotely gay. "Fine. What do you want to watch?"

"Action, of course. Unless you want to watch _romance_?" He smirked at me maliciously, which I really want to erase with my fist.

"Fine by me."

"Good."

"It's your treat you know. Since you're the one that asked me out." Che, I'd milk every penny he has. I'm gonna order everything on the food counter, serves him right.

"Of course, I'm the _**boy**_ after all." He grinned at me before walking towards the ticket booth and buying the tickets.

I couldn't actually think of a good comeback remark so I opted to glare at his retreating back.

Maybe I could burn holes on his back with my super inhuman glare of death.

Whahahaha.

Bastard.

* * *

It wasn't actually boring and irritating as I thought it would be. Hanging in the mall with Sasuke is actually, _which I wouldn't admit to his face even if it kills me_, fun.

It's like hanging with Shikamaru and Kiba. We fight and argue then laugh loud like lunatics.

I must say he was actually cool when you really get to know him.

"I totally kick your ass there, Uzumaki." Sasuke grinned at me as he KO-ed me once again. My pretty 'Lili' fell on her butt while 'Kuma' raised his hands in victory.

Fine. So he floored me for the tenth time in Tekken. So what? I just needed some more practice that's all. "You cheated and beside you have your own PSP so I bet you already practiced like crazy." I snorted at him.

"Sore loser."

Che.

"Want to play Initial D? Or Time Crisis?" He stood up from his stool and offered me his hand, as if I would take it. I'm a boy after all.

"No. I'm hungry. Let's just eat." I grin at him as I stood up ignoring his stretch hand towards me. He rolled his eyes at me. "What do you want to eat?"

"RAMEN!"

"Dobe."

I grinned at him while he shook his head. Heh, somehow he reminds me too much of Shikamaru. Maybe they'll click. "Hey next time teme I want you to meet my friends."

"Oh, we're on that stage already?" I punched him on the arm and then dragged him away. I heard him chuckling a bit. I couldn't help but smile.

* * *

**Chapter 6.5**

"What the hell are you doing here?" I shrieked at him. He only rolled his eyes at my sudden outburst. "Dobe. I'm bored, so here I am."

Like that, explanation made any sense! And, how did he even knows where I live?

"How…When…"

Arghh…I hate it when I stutter. It only means I could not think straight. Stupid brain not connected to my mouth when I really need it to.

"Dobe, I drove you home yesterday remember?"

My eyes went huge at what he just said. "You memorized the way here?" Is he a stalker or something? Shit! Do I have to call the police now?

I saw Sasuke rolling his eyes at me. "Dobe, let's watch some movies again."

I frowned at him and wanted to bark at him to go home when suddenly, I felt someone tap my shoulder. Oh no. "Naruto why don't you invite your _friend_ inside."

I looked over my shoulder and saw my smiling father. Now I remember why I hate inviting my friends over…because my father is a wacko when it comes to my choice of friends. The first time Kiba was here, he was interrogated like a _criminal_. Which I actually couldn't argue with, since Kiba actually looks like a delinquent from head to toe…but still…

Shit!

"Err…the Uchiha was just passing by." I laughed nervously hoping the bastard would take my hint. Sasuke raised his brow at me in defiance.

"Uchiha? You mean Uchiha? As in the relative of the _Uchiha_?" Iruka—my father, shoved me off the gate and greeted the bastard with a low bow. "Ah good morning Mr. Uchiha. If you're not in a hurry would you want to have some tea or cookies before you go?"

I frowned at my (insert gasps here) shameless father. Che, why do all people bow their heads and greet the fucking bastard like he was a royalty or something. I stared at the stoic bastard who was also staring back at me. I flipped him the bird and stuck out my tongue to let him know that I won't ever treat him like a prince or something.

Prince my ass!

A whack suddenly landed on my head and I cried in pain. I looked up and saw my father's angry eyes, narrowing dangerously at me. "Naruto, behave. He's an Uchiha…he may be a relative of Uchiha Itachi. I don't want to get fired from my job because of you." He whispered threateningly at me.

I rolled my eyes and ducked when I saw his hand once again ready to smack me.

Yeah, now it actually clicked. The Uchiha corps has just hired Iruka this month. Wonder why didn't I think of that.

Still, a bastard is a bastard. I don't care if Sasuke is any relative of Ita…whoever he is! I don't care even if he is his brother or lover or his grandfather!!! You hear me! I don't care!

"That would be nice." I heard Sasuke replied while I was left there gaping at him. "Umm…Mr. Uzumaki."

"Ah, no, no. I'm Iruka Umino." Iruka stretched his hand towards the bastard for a handshake. "I'm Naruto's adoptive father."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Uchiha Sasuke, Naruto's friend."

Friend my ass!

"Come on in then."

I just watched my father lead the way inside our house, Sasuke in tow, grinning at me. Che!

"Come on bastard, let's go to my room." I grabbed on his hand and dragged him off before my father could interrogate him. Uchiha or not my father would probably grill him with questions about me.

My father frowned a bit but smiled as Sasuke bowed his head before I dragged him inside my room.

I gave a loud sigh as I locked it.

"Dobe, what are you planning to do to me?" Sasuke smirked at me with mischievousness. I too grinned back at him and retorted huskily. "Rape you?" He laughed and I laughed too.

Sasuke looked around my room and nods his head in appreciation. "Do you have any good movies?"

"Nah, I just returned the last one I borrowed. Want to borrow another one? The store is just a couple of blocks away." I asked him.

"Sure."

"Come on."

He grinned as he followed me out the room. I shouted to my father where we are going and bolted out the house in record time before my father would say anything.

The way towards the store was actually a silent one until Sasuke broke the silence and asked me. "You like Sakura, right?"

I gave him a frown but nod my head. "Yeah, since grade school."

"Ah. Never told her?"

I gave him my most scandalize look then grinned. "She'd kick my butt if I ever told her."

Sasuke frowned. "So that's why you pretended to be gay?" He snorted.

I gave him another scandalized look. "No!" I frowned at him and thought for a while. "I don't even know why she thinks I'm gay?!"

Sasuke stared at me from head to toe. He smirked after assessing me and even chuckled a bit.

Wait?

Did the bastard just laughed at me?!

Come on, I'm like the manliest man alive!

"Maybe because you're using the same lip gloss as her?" He smirked at me as he stared at my lips. I actually blushed at that. Heh, caught red-handed.

What?! Men do use lip-gloss! Having kissable lips doesn't grow on you like a mushroom on a hot day, you need to take care of it.

"Because my lips chapped a lot." I answered back.

"Ah." He nods his head in agreement, though I don't think he was really convinced. Heh, who cares?!

Sasuke again stared at me and I actually felt little with his scrutinizing gaze. "Maybe it's because of the eyes?"

My what?!

Having a big blue eyes is making me gay?! What kind of reasoning is that?!

I growled lowly at him but I only got a smirk. "Or maybe because of your ass…you sway your hips a lot so it only emphasizes your cute butt." He tried swaying his hips to show me what he meant.

I punched him on the arm earning a soft winced from him. "Fuck you!"

He laughed out loud after I said that. Bastard.

I frowned at him and decided to change the subject. "And what about you? Why are you running away from all those girls?" He just smirked at me and proceeded to open the door to the Video store. Heh, we finally arrived without me knowing.

I rolled my eyes with his silent response to my query until a thought hit me. "Or are you really gay?" I smirked at him, while his eyes narrowed at me. "Is my virginity in danger?"

Sasuke laugh loudly, mocking me. "As if dobe! Even if I were really gay I won't fall for a dobe like you."

Hey! That's fucking hitting below the belt, fucking bastard.

I pouted a bit and frowned. He must have sensed my hurt feelings when he suddenly shook his head and smiled apologetically at me. "I like girls who don't pant and drool at me whenever I'm around."

Conceited bastard!

I raised a brow at him. "And?"

He rubbed his chin as his eyes narrowed in contemplation. "Someone who have a long hair, nice smile, huge pretty eyes, nice long legs, narrow waist…"

I nod in agreement.

"Who's smart, shy and soft spoken, kind to all, religious, who walks with grace…" I snorted to cut him off on which he frowns a bit.

"…and someone with wings who came down to earth to save all of us from death!" I grinned at him as I continued his sentence for him.

He was looking for a fucking angel!

No girl, who looks and act like that, live in this century. Geez, even Hinata hasn't reach that level yet.

Or maybe she has…but that's beyond the point.

"Dobe. Then what about you?" He rolled his eyes at me while I grinned back at him. "Me?" I pointed to myself. His eyes rolled again. He likes rolling his eyes I just noticed.

My grinned got wider as my eye caught something. I stalked towards it and pointed at the thing that caught my attention. "This…" I pointed to the photo. "This is my ideal girl."

Sasuke smirked as he stared at the photo of the two girls on the cover of an adult video. He nodded in approval and if you tilted your head just a little to the right and narrow your eyes slightly you could see a drool coming from his mouth. Hahahaha!

I quirked a brow at him on which he answered with a grin as he took the video and hurriedly stalked towards the cashier. Ah, another pervert!

I hurriedly followed him and was not surprised to see Temari minding the store. I gave her a small wave and said my 'hello'. She only gave me a leer as her eyes traveled from me to my companion.

God I hate my life right now!

"Is this all you're borrowing?" Temari eyed our purchase with distaste as she quirked an eyebrow at our choice of video. She gave a soft chuckle as she stared hard at me. I know she's going to do something cruel, so my face turned from red to pale in a matter of seconds.

She turned around and took something off the shelves. My face grew hot as she waved a DVD at me. "Courtesy of the house."

_Shaving Ryan's private_.

What the hell is that title?!

Okay fine don't even think of answering that!

I know, it's a fucking gay porn! And no, I haven't watched any…okay, fine I did, once…just once and I was forced to watch it! You hear me! I was _**forced**_!

I hurriedly went out of the store even before Sasuke could pay. I was fucking embarrassed to have a friend like Temari.

My life really sucks big time!

I hate you life!!!

"Oi dobe?"

Shit! Stop blushing Naruto! Stop blushing.

"Dobe." Sasuke frowns at me. I tried rolling my eyes at him to drop the soon-to-be-subject but honestly, it actually doesn't suits me and it was unbelievably hard to do. It actually made me a bit dizzy and feels stupid all at the same time. Che, he must have practiced all his life to make himself look cool while doing '_the_' eye-rolling-thing.

"Who was the cute girl?" He smirked at me.

I stared at him for a second or two, trying to decipher what he just asked. Cute girl? Huh?

"The blond girl on the counter." He rolled his eyes at me, perfectly I might add. Damn, I wish I could master the art of eye rolling like him.

"Temari?!"

"Ah, is that her name? She looks cute." Sasuke said in contemplation.

I gaped at him like a moron.

Come on, he didn't just said the Temari was cute, did he?!

After gaping at him for a second or two, I laughed hysterically. "Shit! Whahaha. Temari! Whahaha…man, you're gonna get killed if she ever heard you calling her cute."

"Dobe."

"Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Sasuke, Sasuke." I slung my arm over his shoulder and leaned at him. "She's the last girl you'll ever date. Believe me. She's the total opposite of what you want for a girl."

"…"

"She's a fucking sadist, who actually like S&M." I grinned at him, hoping for him to actually believe me…but hey it's actually half the truth.

"Che. You already saw her naked, didn't you?" Sasuke nudge me off him and glared at me. I smiled at him then lick my lips. "Yeah."

"Panty? Bra?"

"Thongs...sexy leather thongs." He grinned, I grinned. Heh, maybe this was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

"Hmm…seems like pretending to be gay do have its good points." He nods while thinking.

I just smiled at him. Proud that I already found a new apprentice.

Life is good after all.

**To be continued…**

**Late_Sleeper: **See, I've done two chapters merge into one...so it means the world would be ending soon, so beware…


	7. VII

**How I Became Gay**

**By: Late-Sleeper**

**Beta-reader: ****Pay Backs a Bitch**

**Chapter 7: …then they went home…**

* * *

"Oi! Are you sure we could watch _this_, here?" Sasuke eyes narrowed at me while I made myself comfortable on my bed.

I snorted at him. "I told you, my father just went out to buy some groceries, knowing him he won't be back till six." I smirked at him and patted the left side of the bed beside me. "So relax…enjoy the show."

He rolled his eyes at me again and I swear to god someday his eyes will get stuck to the back of his head with all the eye rolling he does.

"Che, dobe."

I snorted at his retort and tried not to grin because I could actually feel his eagerness to watch the movie. Closet pervert!

He crept towards me and made himself comfortable at my side. I smiled at him as I pushed the play button of the remote. Flashes of light soon began to fill the room together with husk moans and grunts of the AV actors.

That's what I like about porn, they go straight to the sex scenes.

I felt my body suddenly getting hot bit by bit as my ears was filled with obscenely loud moans and shriek of '_fuck_', '_harder_', and '_so good_'. I would have drooled or even masturbated, if not for the bastard beside me.

Yeah, talking about Sasuke, I looked at him while he was concentrating too damn hard at the TV. "Hey, bastard? Is this your first time to watch porn?" I asked him, I was a bit worried that I might taint someone's innocent mind. Well, actually, not really.

"No." He shook his head and snorted. "But it is the first time I'm actually willing to watch it and not my brother forcing me to watch it with him." I saw him shudder and glare at no one after mentioning his brother.

"Ah." Awkward! I let the topic drop 'cause I honestly don't know what to say and I really want to focus on the actress' huge boobs. I think Sasuke felt the same way as he (insert gasps and flashes of cameras for blackmail material here) salivated at the new positions the actors are in, I did too. Though he would deny it with passion.

With all that moaning and grinding, I didn't notice that our hands already reached out to our penises. Our hands to our own of course, like I would reach to Sasuke's cock. Please.

"You know in our time, we used to help each other by playing with the others' wang."

Huh?

WHAT?!

My head turned hurriedly to the source of the voice, only to confirm my suspicion was indeed correct. "KAKASHI?!!!!!"

My stupid grinning uncle smiled at me as he raised his hand in greetings. "Yo!" My face turned beet red as I hurriedly took my hand off my bulge. Shit, talk about getting caught red handed by an adult. Shit! Kakashi would surely make my life hell after this.

"Now, now. Don't let my presence distract you from doing the '_deed_'. Go on, go on. Just think of me like _god_, someone who you don't see but you know he's always watching…" Kakashi nods his head at us signaling us to continue. Fucking good for nothing pervert!

"What the hell are you doing here?!" I screamed at him as I fumbled to get up but he pushed me down and grabbed my hand. "Now, now. I told you to continue. See your friend is waiting." He then put my hand on Sasuke's now limping bulge.

I looked at Sasuke's poker face. I wonder a bit if he was actually enjoying this or what, since he just snorted at us and continued watching. What the hell was that?!

I quickly pulled my hand off Sasuke as if it was on fire and glared at Kakashi. The fucking bastard just chuckled at me.

"Don't be shy Naruto. Every boy does it one time or another. It wouldn't make you _less of a man_ if you do it with your friend here." He chuckled a bit at my fuming face. I actually couldn't retort something at him and I just resorted to just yelling obscenity.

"What the hell is happening here?!" Iruka came charging towards my door and almost knocked down the poor thing. "What are…" He suddenly stopped when he heard the loud moans on the TV.

Shit! Talk about embarrassing situation.

A loud shrill made us all cringed including the stoic ice princess beside me.

"YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!! GOOD FOR NOTHING SON OF A BITCH!!!" Iruka almost pounced on the grinning Kakashi but I already held on to him so Kakashi escaped only with a small scratch from Iruka. "GET OFF ME NARUTO! I'm going to kill that fucking pervert!."

"Calm down Iruka-san."

"Calm down?! Calm down?! You're asking me to calm down when you are teaching my sweet innocent Naruto to watch porn and have sex!!!"

"Maa, maa…my _son_ is already a grown man now. Naruto needs to learn it before he could satisfy the ladies." Kakashi chuckled a bit and somehow I really wondered if he has any self-preservation instinct or he really wanted to commit suicide now.

"WHA?!" Iruka eyes widened like saucers and wiggled through my arms. For a dorky looking man, Iruka is really strong. "Naruto, Sasuke-kun, please go out now. I'll handle the pervert here." Iruka stood still his head bow. I let go of him because of the sudden unidentified fear I felt as my heart constricted. "GO!" He screamed and before I could even protest, Sasuke was already dragging me out of my room in record time.

The next thing I know, a loud shriek and war cry erupts from my house as we started running away towards the near park.

I panted and squatted as I try to catch my breath as Sasuke did the same.

"Shit! Your dad_s_ are going at it like crazy." Sasuke huffed.

Huh?

Somehow I could understand his implication but my mind wouldn't really register its actually meaning. "What?"

Sasuke stared at me and snorts. "No wonder you're like that."

What?

"Hey! What do you want to say asshole?!" I punched him on the arm; he glared at me as he nursed his bruised arm after the punch. "Dobe, I'm saying that, now I know why you became like that…you know looking like a gay boy…since you have gay dads." He rolled his eyes at me.

He didn't just say?!

"Fuck you! Iruka isn't gay! How could you even think that?!" I screamed at him, eyes wide with shock. He looked at me quizzically as though not believing what I just said. "But the other guy said you were his son."

Ah. Kakashi did say that actually.

"That's because he is…well at least he feel that he is." I tapped my chin in concentration as I fully sat on the concrete. Sasuke started at me but said nothing. "Well he could have been my adopted father but Jiraya…that's my father's, my real father, master opted to give me to Iruka instead. Kakashi was actually heart broken when he heard the decision since he was my father's favorite apprentice."

"Ah."

"My real father is a novelist…so is Kakashi." I said to him with no reason whatsoever just to clarify the master and apprentice thing.

"Your family is crazy." He snorted.

"You think." I smiled at him, not even feeling a bit angry at what he said. He too smiled at me. "Yeah, but my brother is even crazier. I think he should meet that Kakashi guy. They'd click."

I smiled as realization dawned on me. "So that's why you were fucking unconcerned with all that fiasco."

He snorted and glared at the ground as though it committed the worst crime one could ever imagine. "You don't know that half of it."

"Hehehe." I laughed at him and slung my arm over his shoulder.

He looked at me and grinned. "You should meet my brother…he'll drive you crazy, more than that Kakashi person did."

I nodded my head in agreement as I continue to chuckle.

* * *

"You fucking bastard! How could you dragged me in there and meet your fucking sadistic of a brother?!" I yelled at Sasuke's ear making him cringed in annoyance. "Dobe!"

I huffed and sat down on my chair completely ignoring Sasuke's glare as he rubbed his sore ear from my yelling. Serves the fucking bastard right. I can't believe he actually forced me to meet his psycho of a brother just to see me squirm and sweat in fear all for his enjoyment. Bastard.

"Hey, are you two fighting?" Sakura's voice suddenly filled the room and my head suddenly snapped back towards the sound. My mood lightened quite a bit at hearing her melodious sweet voice. Oh ,my goddess, my Sakura-chan.

Sakura waved a small 'hi' at the teme and walked towards me and whispered. "Are you gonna make sweet man sex to make-up?" I gaped at her obscene words. Man, the girl's got very dirty mind for such an innocent looking face; I glared at her and shook my head forcefully. She gave a disappointed snort and proceeded to walk towards her seat beside me.

After a few seconds Hinata came in, with her stuck up bastard of a cousin in tow. Hinata gave us three a small bow and a soft 'good morning' as she proceeded to sit on the chair in front of me.

"Hey, Hinata-chan? I'm free today…want to go out now?" I asked Hinata as she put her bag neatly on her desk. I heard Sakura gasped and run towards Hinata.

"What? No way! Don't go with Naruto." Sakura frowned at Hinata. I too frowned at Sakura's sudden bouts of craziness. Maybe it's her time of the month.

"Why not?" I asked pouting.

"Because, you two need to kiss and make-up ." Sakura pointed at me and Sasuke who's face was still stoic as ever.

"We don't need to make-up and…arghhh…kis..ki…kiss." I stuck my tongue out as if my tongue just tasted something foul. Sasuke just raised a brow at me but said nothing.

I panicked a bit upon realizing what I have just done.

"Err…" I stuttered as I looked at Sasuke for aid but the bastard just rolled his eyes at me and stood up. "See you later dobe." Then he went out of our classroom towards his own before the bell finally rang and people started to fill the room like ants.

Sakura scowled at me before sitting on her seat, lips in tight purse as she stared at the blackboard intent of ignoring me for the whole class.

* * *

"Sakura, wait up!" I hurriedly scampered to gather my things and dashed out to follow Sakura who was making her way out of the classroom. She looked over her shoulder and glared at me. I cringed a bit at how poisonous her glare was but decided to follow her.

We walked in total silence, her leading the way and me following her like a lost puppy. I racked my brain a bit to think of anything that I did that would make her mad, though only one thing came to mind, Sasuke.

I gave a loud sigh and shook my head when suddenly Sakura stopped on her tracks making me bump into her slightly. I said a soft 'sorry'.

"YOU STUPID HEARTLESS DENSE JERK!!!"

Huh?

Okay, I kinda freaked out a bit at her sudden outburst but decided to stay quiet as she continued yelling obscenities my way.

I wondered a bit if it was '_that time of the month_' again. Hinata already had hers a few days ago…and don't you look at me that way…and don't even think of asking me _how_ and why do I know such…umm…trifling things. I just do.

"I can't believe how dense and heartless you are Naruto!!! You are so cold!" Sakura shrieked once again this time whacking me on the head. I vaguely wondered if she was talking about Sasuke and just projecting it at me. "What did I do?" I whimpered a bit as she hit me with her bag.

"What did you?! What did you do?! Are you really that dense?!" Sakura screamed on my face and I felt a shiver of terror runs down my spine for a split second.

"…"

"God, Naruto! How could you do that to Sasuke?"

"What did I do?" I asked frowning. I really don't get girls when they go through their _period_. They really became beast and angry bitches for no reason.

Sakura just gaped at me, shock clearly written on her cute face. Yeah, she's still cute when she's angry. One reason I fell for her on the first place. "You fucking hurt his feelings!"

What? I did?

I laughed maniacally in my head.

Then, serves him right. Come on, he's been trampling my pride since day one when I first met him…but of course I wouldn't say that to Sakura of fear of her power punches.

"But…"

"No buts, Naruto! How could you do that to your boyfriend?" Sakura face dissolved into a saddened frown as she shook her head. "Do you know how many girls wanted to be in your place?"

Yeah like you, I added thoughtfully and frowned.

"And still you act with indifference when you're with Sasuke. Like he means nothing to you." Sakura's frown deepened and I almost for a second thought she was going to cry.

I wanted to roll my eyes and pray to god to let the earth eat me alive just to escape this _nonsense drama_. I wanted to laugh at her but her pained expression stopped me from doing anything.

I looked at her face searchingly and came to realized how deep her feelings are for Sasuke and some how it pained me.

"Do you know how painfully it is to see the one you like treated by someone with such coldness? And how you wish that it was you instead of the cold hearted person to be by his side?"

Of course I do! I feel hurt whenever Sasuke ignored her, I feel hurt when Sasuke snapped at her…yes, I know how it feels to see the one you like pursuing someone who doesn't deserve to be loved. I wanted to scream that at her, to tell her how I feel.

Somehow I also felt her pain, cause I know that pain…I've experienced it…and continue experiencing it…

I, because of too much emotion, hugged Sakura. With all restrain flew out the window, Sakura let it go and cried hard on my chest. I too felt tears welling on my eyes.

"It hurts Naruto, to see Sasuke head over heels in love with you."

Then the tears welling on my eyes suddenly froze and my mouth gape wide at her outburst, my hands that was making circle on her back also froze up. Head over heels? What?!

"He's totally, madly, deeply in love with you." Sakura sniffed and buried her face deeper into my chest, and I should have died a happy man if only I never heard a single thing she said.

Sasuke? In love with me?

What the hell!

"I'm so envious! He takes care of you, he even do some of your assignments!" Sakura whined as she softly pummeled her fist on my chest. "He drives you to school and even takes you home when he's not busy with his club…"

Err…okay fine. The teme did some pretty good deeds to me…though come on, it's the least he could do to pay up for being his so called 'homo boyfriend' and acting like a complete jerk when no one is around.

And it's not like I just accept all his kindness, I also have my fair share of good deeds…I did made him a lunch box just a few days ago. I also bring him food whenever he's too busy with his club meetings. Heck, I even let him sleep on my lap after his game…and that was fucking embarrassing as hell, especially with all those catcalls and whistles.

See? I'm not a bad person.

"And he even introduced you to his brother!"

I frowned a bit. So what's the deal with it? "So? I first introduced him to my father."

Sakura suddenly pushed me off her and shrieked. "You whore!" Then she smiled. Told you girls get weird when they go through their period. "Why didn't you tell me the two of you are on that stage already?"

Huh?!

Sakura smiled wider and became lecherous as she tried to tickle me on my side. "Fine! I understand. You're just not that affectionate in public…but come on Naruto…you should never say that to your boyfriend."

"What did I say?" I honestly don't know what the hell she means.

Sakura shook her head dejectedly. "Naruto, Naruto, a girl or in your case a gay boy, should never say he doesn't want to kiss his boyfriend. That hurts you know!"

ARGHHH!!!

"Come on, let's find Sasuke so the two of you would make up and I want you two to kiss…or else." Sakura waved her fist at me and I mentally cringed.

But… How could she possibly think that I would kiss Sasuke. It's gross.

I'm not even gay.

"Sasuke-kun!!!" Sakura waved her hands. I mentally wished that god would pity me and take me now, take me to another world.

I saw Sasuke walk towards us with a frown etched on his face. He must have been wondering what the hell Sakura wanted. I gave him a small smile as he raised a brow at me in question.

"Naruto has something to say to you." Sakura beamed at him then whispered to me. "I'm gonna watch in a nearby bush so I want to see some horny kisses, okay?"

What's up with girls and their fantasy of man sex?

She pushed me then scampered away and discreetly hid in a nearby bush just as she said. I know this because I could feel her boring stare on my back. I looked up at Sasuke and made an annoyed glare.

"Dobe."

Che, fucking teme. I'm only going to do this for my love.

"Teme, I…I…" I almost mentally puked on the words I'm going to utter. Sasuke frowned at me but didn't said a thing. He must be enjoying seeing me flustered and stuttering. Fucking bastard.

"I'm only going to do this for Sakura, okay?" I said out of the blue. Sasuke smirked at how pathetic I must have looked. "Arggh!!!" I growled lowly at his cockiness.

I gave a loud sigh and looked at him in the eye. "I…I want you to kiss me."

He gave me a raised brow, smirked at me then rolled his eyes. "I'm serious." I growled at him.

"Dobe, why would I do that?" This time he must have realized how serious I was, he frowned a bit at that realization. "Because…" I stammered.

"Because?"

"Because…because Sakura thought we were fighting and wants us to make-up."

"So? Then just tell her we did."

"You know I wish I could just do that but I can't, she's watching and she specifically asked for some kissing scene. Come on fucking teme, you already did it once." I whined at…wait…fuck! I can't believe I'm whining for a kiss. Please kill me now! Please!

"Fine." Sasuke rolled his eyes and stoop down a bit and whispered. "This would cost you a lot dobe. You're going to clean my room for the entire week."

"What?! But you have thousands of maid!"

"Yeah, but they are all girls. I don't want them sniffing my undies…" I cringes a bit as I remembered his hordes of perverted house cleaners. I can't believe Sasuke is still a fucking virgin till now…though it will be just a matter of time before all hell breaks loose and Sasuke will be raped by those maids. I mentally shivered at that thought.

"Besides, it would be awkward if they saw my magazines." Sasuke frowned. Oh yeah, we just bought some porn a few days ago. "Oi teme! You promised to let me borrow that." I hissed at him.

He rolled his eyes at me then nodded. "So?"

"Oh."

"What now dobe?"

"Fine! But only for three days…"

He smirked then leaned down on me and gave me a peck on my lips. I was caught in surprise so I gaped at him. Our eyes met and something in me felt hot. I really don't know what came over me, or even him, when suddenly I raised my chin up to him while he on the other hand leaned down on me again, and our lips meet once again.

I gasped a bit at how soft his lips felt as it moves on my own. It only lasted for a few seconds but I caught myself breathless as I purred a 'thank you' at hi…

Oh shit!

My eyes went huge at the sudden realization of what we just did.

Oh fuck!

What the hell did I get myself into?

**To be continued…**


	8. VIII

**How I Became Gay**

**By: Late-Sleeper**

UNBETA

NOTE: Not yet Beta-read...i know i suck at grammar and all

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 8: …then the evil witch came…**

* * *

"Shika?"

"What?"

"Umm…"

"What?" He growled lowly, irritated that I woke him up from his slumber.

"Umm…"

I saw Shikamaru rolled his eyes and grunted '_baka_'. "You kissed a girl already, right?"

Shikamaru yawned and decided to cradle his head on his arm as he stared at my ceiling. "Yes." He grunted as a reply.

"Why?"

"Naruto, is there any logic with this questioning?" He gave me a sidelong glance and shook his head. I felt somewhat irritated at his nonchalant attitude but decided to stay calm because he's the only person I could think of that have answers to my question. "Yes! So? Why did you kiss?"

"Naruto, because we were _horny_." He snorted though I really don't care if he did because my face suddenly lit up at his answer. "Really?" I exclaimed in relief.

"Che, troublesome. I was being sarcastic Naruto." I saw him snort and roll a bit to a more comfortable position.

"Arghh! Shika! Come on be serious! I'm fucking at my wits end here." I started to whine. Yes, whine…because it's just Shika. He wouldn't think I am less of a man if I whine, as he would say, it's too troublesome to care.

He gave an annoyed sigh but stared at me intently. "We kissed because we felt it was right to kiss. It was the right mood, the right place, the right time."

"Did you like her? You know, at the time you kissed her?"

"Yes. I do like her."

I gave a loud whine and buried myself on my pillow, intent of suffocating myself. No way would I like Sasuke! It's just no way I'm going to be gay. I'm too young to go on drag, pranced around in high heels, and caked make-up. I don't even have money for boob implantations.

I can't be gay.

"Why?" He peered at me with a frown. I gulped at the ominous aura he was exhibiting. He's protective of me somewhat…I guess. "Umm…I kissed someone…though I don't know if I like _that person_…" I answered in a small voice, afraid that he might hurt me if I said something wrong. He's actually pretty scary when he's mad.

He shook his head with a frown. "You don't know?" he asked.

"Yes…I really don't know what happened, but we just…you know, kissed…I really don't know what came over me."

He sighed again in annoyance and rolled his eyes at my stupidity. "You're stupid you know that?"

"Yes."

"Well…there are some people who kissed because they got caught in the mood, others because they just wanted to try it, while others because they are horny…"

"Ah."

"So, I'm betting the latter. Did you feel the need to masturbate after you two kissed or do something to _her_?" He asked without even batting an eyelash. I had to blush at his blunt question. I thought for a moment or two and recalled what I felt when Sasuke and I kissed.

I remember being breathless and confused after the kiss…and guilty, but not hot and horny.

"No."

He frowns. "Why the hell did you kiss her in the first place?"

"I told you I don't know what came over me…"

"Did you like the kiss?"

I frown and tried to hide my blush. How would I know if I like it or not? There's nothing to compare with…that was my first kiss…yes, my first kiss. The very first kiss Sasuke gave me was invalid. It was stolen, so therefore it's not counted. Sasuke forced me.

Sasuke…

Arghh! I can't believe I was kissed by the same guy twice! It won't matter if it was my first or not…it still be with Sasuke.

I mentally groan in frustration…My life really suck like hell.

Anyway, yeah, I really don't know if I like it or not. Or, maybe I do…I didn't actually felt repulsive or anything after…so, yeah maybe I do like it…so what now?

"Maybe…" I answered indecisively. Shikamaru frown deepened. "Then you like her. That's all there is to it."

What?

"NO!" I saw Shikamaru raised a brow at my outburst. I shook my head and kept on muttering 'no' over and over like a broken disc player.

"Troublesome. I don't know much about liking someone or being in love but all I know is that…" He stared at me in the eye. "You know you like someone when you start to see her in a new light…doesn't matter if it's a long process or a sudden one…"

I nodded as he continues. "…it might happen when you least expect it. You know you're in love with someone when at a particular moment you felt goose bumps run down your body as you stared at her or just be near her without any reason. You will start to feel your heart beating faster and your stomach flipping…"

I gulped and nodded my head expectantly for him to continue. "…and at that same moment the world would freeze and the only thing you could see and feel is her and her alone."

"Ah."

"And the next time you two kiss…you know you like her is when you forget anything, anyone, who you are, what she is…all reasons are all gone the drain...and the only things that matter is that you want to kiss her…"

I nodded my head and tried not to question Shikamaru if he's been reading my Shoujo manga again in secrets…or maybe Ino's…but knowing how sensitive Shikamaru is about that topic I stayed mum. I do value my life.

* * *

Sasuke waved two ticket at me proudly, yesterday's event was surely forgotten…or maybe brushed off as nonsense. I stared at the tickets with wide eyes and if I could make my eyes sparkle more I would because I'm seeing stars.

"Linkin Park!" I exclaimed happily. I been a huge fan of Linkin since they first started and even when their career lay lowed a bit, and now they're visiting Japan for a series of tours in Asia. I'm in heaven!

"Where? How?" I couldn't form a coherent sentence. I was too speechless as my eyes followed the ticket from side to side as Sasuke kept on waving it like I was a puppy following a toy.

"Connection." He answered cheekily at me.

Che, I how I forgot that Sasuke is one of those _sons of god _type of thing_, _life is so unfair_._

"When is it gonna be?" I asked expectantly.

"Later." What? Why didn't I heard any of these. How can he expect me to go to my beloved band's concert scruffily?

"But…how…why?"

"It's a limited concert. Just a few people knew they'd come here." I wanted to scream in frustration. I'm their number one fan damn it! How can I not know there was a concert today?

Sasuke crossed his arm over his chest and looked down on me…yeah he's a bit taller than I am, damn it. "Are you coming or not?"

I mentally debated on going but looking like a thrash beside Sasuke or not going and forever hunt my dreams that I never got to see Chester scream at the mic until I die. I looked at Sasuke's attire and frowned. He was a bit dressed for the occasion so he's really looking like a model or something. I won't spare you the detail of what he's wearing you fan girls…beside I still look hotter than he is.

"Going!" I grin at him and sling my arm over his shoulder and drag him towards his car.

We were there in a matter of minutes. I surveyed the area and cringed as I see the group of people within the perimeter. Stuck up bitches and bastards. So, it is really a limited one. I snorted a bit.

I looked back at Sasuke who's smirking at me like he owns the whole world and I'm living in it. Cocky bastard!

I tried to shrug the feeling that I entered the world where I don't belong. I could suck anything, even my pride if I have to just to see my GODS! Linkin Park!

A felt a hand gently tugging me, I looked up and saw that the band has already started. I felt my adrenaline reacting to the loud sounds of the amplifier. I grinned widely and started dancing to the loud tune with everybody else. I feel the people around me getting lost in the songs.

I went wild as the third song played as does other people around me did, except one person. Che! Emotionless, stoic bastard.

On the fourth song everybody was getting a bit rowdy, people started to grind on each others body, not caring who it was, as long as they feel the pleasure of grinding into someone or something.

I had my fair share of boobs rubbing on my back and arms. I think Sasuke had the biggest share of molestation though, lucky teme.

It was all okay actually until I felt something rub on my behind, yes my butt, and it's not boobs. The fucker!

"What the hell do you want?" Is the thing I would have yelled if not for Sasuke saying it before me as he pushed the man who's grinning at him perversely.

I glared at the pervert and aim a punch at him but Sasuke's hand caught my arm. "Teme!"

"Shh…you don't want to be thrown out do you?"

I shook my head as a 'no' but still glared at the man who's still grinning at me. I flipped him the bird and then turn my back on him. I felt something move behind me. "What the…?"

"Shh…the next song is starting." I felt Sasuke breath behind my left ear, I shuddered reflexively. I looked over my shoulder and prepare to give him my super-saiyan-ultra-super-duper-glare-of-death when Sasuke smiled.

Then something inside of me tingled, my stomach flipped twice, then like some electricity it runs down to my feet and I felt the sudden chill.

What the hell?

"What?" I heard Sasuke asking behind me as I continue to stare blankly at him.

"Nothing." I lied through my teeth as I tried to restrain my palpitating heart. "I think I'm hungry that's all."

"Dobe."

I turned my head back towards the stage but by some curse or something I couldn't concentrate a thing, I looked from side to side but it's all black and misty. I felt my whole body tingling again. I looked over my shoulder and was expecting no Sasuke but like a damn trick of fate, his face was the clearest of all. Everything was blurred but him and me, as if we're in a twilight zone or something.

My staring might have alerted him as he leaned down again on my ear and whispered. "What's wrong?"

I shook my head and frown. He didn't bought it so he took my hand. "You're cold?"

"No." Or maybe it was just the cold that's making me feel this way.

"Hn."

A hand started to wound itself around me. I stiffened a bit. "Don't worry it's too dark for people to actually pay attention to us."

I tried to stay calm, I did. Chester started to sing 'Crawling' and like the soothing voice of his from the first line of the song, Sasuke's heat felt comforting but still my body tremble in unknown fear like the booming screech of Chester's voice when the song reach the chorus. Calm and fear. Cold and hot. It's like a yoyo…emotion assaults me and I think I'm in for a roller coaster ride.

* * *

**To be continued…**

**

* * *

Late_Sleeper: **I just received a review from a fic i made yearssssssss ago which resulted in me reading again my other fics which like a domino effect resulted in me realizing I haven't continued this fic for ages...ok my bad...anyway I'm getting rusty and old so excuse me for this boring chapter...i'll sign out now**  
**


	9. IX

**How I Became Gay**

**By: Late-Sleeper**

**UNBETA_READ**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 9:**

* * *

I glared at the television like it was some sort of criminal that raped my grandmother. I was venting my frustration on it for the past couple of hours now, if it was alive _it_ could have sued me by now with unjust vexation. I took the remote and surfs from channel to channel, but it seems like there is no shows that could appease my perturbed mind.

And this is all because of Sasuke…

Damn!

Fine, he didn't actually do anything but…I knew he had some kind of spell, or even a curse, around him that makes girls fall in love with him…and somehow it does affect me in some ways…but not totally, I might add…

And, no, I'm not fucking in love with the bastard…and yes, I'm sure…

I'm sure! I'm sure! I'm sure! Damn it!

It's just that the fucker got this weird aura in him last night at the concert that oozes with 'I'm-so-sexy-I'll-make-you-desire-me' aura. But that doesn't mean I'm gay…it just that I…No…I'm not gay…I'M NOT!

See? I'm even watching a very manly show. UFC.

I smirked a bit at that thought. Somehow that thought lightened my mood and pushed back the memories of last nights concert.

…pushed back the memories of Sasuke's angelic smile…

…pushed to the deepest recesses of my consciousness the feel of his arm around my waist as he tries to fend off wandering hands off my ungodly ass…

…drowning the smell of his perfume mixed with his own sweat as his body pressed into mine while we jump up and down to the Linkin's Park songs, shutting my memory of his cool, sultry voi…

"ARGHHHHHHHH! NOT AGAIN!" I screamed as the thoughts I've been burying since last night kept on replying over and over my head, making me insane.

"I'm NOT gay!"

"KISS! KISS! KISS"

I double looked at the show I was watching. "Kiss?" I stared bordering to glaring as the two men trying to pin down one another on the ground…of course in a very non-sexual way. Perverts.

I pushed the volume button as I try to decipher if my ear heard what the hell it just heard.

"KICK! KICK! KICK!"

Shit!

Now I'm beginning to think like a gay pervert. I looked at the faces of the contestant and felt a vile start to run up my throat. No way in hell I could like guys, especially muscled guys. My stomach flipped again as the contestant made his muscles move. EWWW!

I pushed the button again intent of turning off the TV but accidentally took the wrong remote and pushed the video button on then I saw the DVD's red button blink. I stood up and tried to look at what disk I left inside. I pushed the DVD's remote to open it and my eyes went a few millimeters wide when I saw the porn Sasuke and I were watching a few weeks ago but was rudely interrupted.

A smirk suddenly replaced my frown as I made my way to my bed and made myself comfortable. I pushed the button again and played the video.

Heh, this is the life.

When the sounds of muffled groans and moans reach my ears, my body instantly reacted. Man, it's been weeks since I last did 'it'.

As soon as the story start to roll and increase it's momentum, I too start to feel the pressure inside me rise and like ordinary boy, I began to play solo with my meat flute.

I think I reached my climax when the two girls had their one on one. Or maybe when the two girls did naughty things with the lucky bastard in the middle. Hell, whatever it is, I knew that I reached my climax watching girls. GIRLS I tell you!

Although I already did it, twice, my body is still not satisfied and I honestly hate to disappoint my body, and being a pervert that I am I hurriedly searched for another porn…

…but only to find the most horrifying video I ever seen…

"Shaving Ryan's private?"

Shit! This is still here?

I looked around me as if cameras and secret spies are gonna popped out from their hiding. I looked at my door and saw that it is locked.

I stared at the disk on my hand.

Fine! I'm curious, okay?

Feeling curiosity is enough reason; I put it inside the DVD and played it.

The movie starts with two teenager boys playing Xbox inside a room. I frown. "Rip off." Che, this is not porn. It's just a batch of kids playing a video games. Where's the army? Where's Ryan? Where are the tanks and guns? Err…ah…okay, I think it's the wrong movie…but anyway, the point is, this is not porn!

"_Hey I feel hot. Can I take off my shirt." _

Oh.

Ah.

Fine…maybe it is porn. Maybe a man would soon emerge from somewhere…

"_Sure. Mind if I took my shorts too?"_

"_No."_

"_Hey, nice ass."_

I felt my eye twitched a bit.

Okay, what the hell is happening? Don't tell me these two _**boys**_ are the main actors?

"_Hey, you're hard."_

"_Yeah, wanna touch it?"_

Oh my fucking ass! They are!

Shit! Shit!

"_Hey, you're really are blond down there."_

I almost pass out with that and it didn't help that the other boy is a raven head with a super pale complexion.

Sensing that my mind would now burst like a rocket in space I hurriedly fumbled to shut the thing off but of course life hated me and wanted to show me how bitchy it could be when I couldn't find the fucking remote. I, in a state of distress, threw everything in my way to find the fucking remote and since I'm such an idiot the remote flew somewhere with my other clutter without me knowing.

"_Ah…more…"_

NO!

Fuck! Fuck! FUCK! Where is it?

"_Hmmm…yeah…"_

Please, don't make it to _that_ part yet…please…save my sanity…

I tried to block out every moans and pants as I looked for the remote while praying not to see the part where they…ah…you know…ARGHHH! NO!

"Dobe."

My eyes went huge like saucer. "Not here." I stupidly chirped. Stupid, right?

"Dobe."

"…"

"_AHHHH…so big."_

I cried inside my head as the actors started to get it on and becoming louder and louder. I fell on my butt in weakness as my body shivered with unknown fear.

"You're watching porn?"

"No."

"Dobe. Let me in."

I panicked and to my panic I banged my TV not once but twice, on which nothing happened, but seems a bit fruitful since I realized that the DVD has manual on and off on it. Arghh! I don't even need a damn remote to turn it off.

I hurriedly turned it off exactly as Sasuke is about to enter my room.

I forgot he got a key to my room.

No, this is not conjugal property. It's just that I always forget where my keys are and beside he usually wake me up to get to sch…

ARGHHH! Never mind!

"Dobe."

"What?"

"…"

"…"

"You're fucking stupid."

A vein started to tick on my temple as he smirked at me. The fucking bastard! No way in hell did I think he was cute. No way in hell! I must have been sick back then.

"Asshole."

"Dead-last."

"Poker-face freak."

"Stupid blond."

Yes, definitely not my type.

Besides, like I'll ever want his 'thing' inside me…of course not that I will bottom for him or anything even if I'm gay. Which I would never be. NEVER!

"Bastard who have a stick up his ass." I sneered.

But he just smirked at me. "Isn't that your role?"

Fucker!

**To be continued… **

**

* * *

**

**Late_Sleeper: **restless, jobless, yaoiness, craziness…that's what my life is now. So yeah, I'm back! Sort of. Though rusty and old. –Sigh


	10. X

**How I Became Gay**

**By: Late-Sleeper**

**UN-BETA**

**

* * *

Chapter 10: …hand in hand they walk…**

* * *

Ring….

Ring…

I smiled at my phone and hurriedly pick it up and said. "Hello." I smirked when I heard the familiar grumpy 'hello' on the other line. There is only one person in the world that calls me and grunts a bored hello. Sasuke. Okay there's actually two, Shikamaru and him. Well that's beside the point.

After he forcefully gotten my number we were now constantly calling each other on a regular basis. Even though I won't admit it, especially in front of him, I actually did enjoy our chit chat.

He was actually cool to hang out with and tell jokes, even though he often make crude jokes, sneered at me, call me stupid, laugh at me, physically and emotionally abused me…

…hmm…

Wait…

Maybe I'm just a masochist.

Well anyway I did finally like him…and don't let your hope up! I mean it as friends. FRIENDS!

"Oh, are we gonna have phone sex again?" I jeered at him.

"Yes." He answered. I could almost see him rolling his eyes at me.

"Oh? Then what are you wearing?" I gave him the huskiest voice I could muster while trying to keep the chuckle at bay.

I heard him snort but answered anyway. "I'm wearing white t-shirt, cargo pants and flip-flops."

"Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. But doesn't sound sexy at all." I shook my head.

He might have rolled his eyes before he answered because a few second elapsed. "Yeah, you're right. I mean I'm only wearing a red velvet robe, with wine on one hand and a whip on the other." He said in a husky bedroom voice that I almost blushed if only he didn't laugh out loud after.

"Che. Finally the Uchiha had some humor in his life." I too laugh out loud with him. "So why did you call?"

"Sakura want us to meet her at Ino's house today. I'm going to drop by after thirty minutes, so hurry up and dress." He said monotonously. Heh, so much on teaching the ice prince some humor and enthusiasm.

I frowned a bit. How come Sakura didn't tell me and instead called Sasuke…wait are they the new best gay friends?

"Dobe?"

"Okay." I just answered. "Fine dobe. I'll be there at three so better be prepared before that time comes." He ordered me grumpily. I wonder what are those gay-couple-loving-fangirls are up to now. The last time they invited Sasuke and me together, end up me getting ass-drunk and woke up with Sasuke on top of me, he was also drunk as hell.

I was going to ask Sasuke what Sakura is planning but he already hung up the phone. Impatient bastard.

I hurriedly went to the bathroom and took a quick shower and readied myself for the ice prince arrival. He gets easily irritated when I'm late in our appointment. Especially in our date.

Not date, as in date-date, just date…err…You know, just as hanging with each other like NORMAL friends with candle light dinner.

Che, I don't care if you want to believe it or not.

But I'm telling you we're just friends!

Friends!

"Dobe hurry up!"

Fuck he's already here. Shit! That was fast! I haven't properly combed my hair yet. I hate it when time flies so fast. "I'm coming down impatient jerk!"

I stormed down the stairs and met Sasuke there. I gave him a toothy grin as he grazed his eyes at me, from head to toe. He clicked his tongue and smirked at me. "You're all doll up. Are you making yourself pretty for me?"

I checked my shirt and my loose pants, nothing out of the ordinary except that I used my favorite perfume, which I usually use for special occasion. I looked at him with confusion on which he wiggled his fingers in front of me and pointed on my hair.

Ah. Yeah I remember I did my nails.

Hey, guys do their nails too! You know Teppei Koike, he usually have painted nails and he looks damn cute…I mean cool with it.

And there are rock star who paint their nails black except that mine is painted white with a black star.

Hey, it looks cool.

And, about the hair pin…come on I already told you this, this is the new fad.

"Bastard! I'm doing it for the girls!" Okay, that sounded a bit defensive but honestly I was telling the truth but the bastard was looking like he doesn't believe a single word. He held his hand out to me and grabbed my hands and smiled at me.

I hate it when he does that.

"Come on we will be late if you don't hurry up." He pulled my hand and dragged me towards his car in front of our house. Good thing my dad isn't home or else he would be harassing Sasuke about what he was to me. I think my dad is beginning to suspect that I'm gay…on which I am not!

He opened the door of the car for me and waited for me to hop in and put on my seat belt, and then he would drive like a maniac on weeds. I almost peed on my pants the first time I rode the car with him, but now somehow I'm a bit calm now.

We actually got at Ino's house in a record breaking time, the girls hurriedly welcomed us with booze and cakes with them serving us with them just wearing lingerie.

Ah, it's feels like a whore house. I'm in heaven once again.

I think the girls are still not giving up on making Sasuke straight. Heh, I wonder what's Sasuke thinking right now as he gaze at all the girls here at _temptation house_ a.k.a Ino's house.

"Hey!" I waved at Sakura who was, unfortunately, wearing a loose shirt and pajama shorts. She too waved back at me and giggled when she saw Sasuke behind me. "You two finally came!"

"Yeah. So what is this all about?"

"We want to play the Ousama game." She winked at me. Fuck so this was a set up.

I mentally shook my head, just as I thought they are still gunning for Sasuke. "So when do we start?" I asked monotonously. Heh, I learned from the best.

"Now." Sakura dragged both of us towards the circle of girls. Sasuke and I seated next to each other while Sakura opted to seat opposite us so she could stare at Sasuke inconspicuously.

The game rolled and I already kissed a couple of girls, got kicked, took a shirt off, drank a couple of beer. I was actually in heaven.

While the ice prince tried his hardest to fend off hands, lips, foot, breast or whatever girls could put on him. Well he actually succeeded most of it except Ino's sudden kiss on his cheek.

I actually felt jealous when that happened because I'm the only one who should be getting kisses here! The only one, girls are willing to get their body close to.

Che.

"Hey, Naruto pay attention!" Sakura screamed at me. Ooppsss.

He raised her brow but delivered her speech. She might be the Ousama this time. "The Ousama wants number three…" She looked around and tried to decipher anyone who was holding the stick with number three. I too looked around to see who was acting suspicious. None.

I looked down on my stick.

"Fuck!" I mumbled softly. I was the one holding it. I looked at Sakura who was grinning wide at me. Now she knows it's me.

I'm fucking doom!

"I want number three to…" No! Please don't make it something humiliating. "To kiss number…" Sakura looked around. I too looked around and I felt hurt when I saw some shaking their heads in a 'no'. "…the one he like on the lips."

I heard some loud sigh.

While others giggled.

Fuck!

Do I dare kiss the one I like? Do I dare kiss Sakura?

I look at Sakura who was grinning madly at me. Nah, I wouldn't dare kiss her, I still value my life more than my youthful lust. Fuck! Then who? Who?

Hinata?

I look at the pale eyed girl who was blushing at me. Okay, here I go.

"Dobe." I looked at my right and saw Sasuke leaning down on me. "You're gay remember?" He whispered softly at me, making sure that he and I are the only one who could hear it.

Oh. Damn!

I looked at him in the eye and bit my lips. I can't. I can't.

But I have to.

I tried to make our faces closer, I could now feel his breath mixing with mine.

Why the hell is this happening to me? Of all people why me?

He too leaned more to me and I could feel my lips touches with his for a bit. I could feel something in me getting hot. I feel my heart thumping, my heartbeat is getting louder, and I could only hear our harsh breath and the thumping of my heart. I could no longer hear Sakura's cheering, the girl's protest, Hinata's stuttering.

I moved my face closer to his and unconsciously opened my lips.

"INO!"

The shout suddenly snapped me to reality and the both of us suddenly bolted away from each other. I looked around and saw all the girls getting dress, or at least making themselves presentable.

I heard Sakura hissing at Ino. "I thought you said your parents are away?"

"They were. Fuck!" Ino hurriedly stormed down and tried to distract her parents while we escaped.

I felt like a fugitive as I tip toed once her parents turned their backs and went inside the kitchen. Her parents are somewhat conservative and they don't like boys hanging around their house. Gay or not, boys are still boys they say.

I only heaved a loud sigh when we were out of the house. Fuck! That was crazy.

I looked at Sasuke and grinned, he too must have felt a bit giddy as he too grinned at me. We walked slowly towards the car not saying anything.

He opened the car door for me and I happily hopped in. He opened his side of the car and sat at the driver's seat. He didn't start the car right away so I stared at him questioningly.

He only smiled at me and said. "The kiss was cut short."

"Oh." I blushed as I remembered our almost torrid kiss…I mean…errr…kiss.

He leaned at me and stared directly into my eyes.

I think my brain melted with his intense gaze.

He moved a bit closer and tilted his head to the right angle for a kiss and waited for me to protest. Which I did. "This is wrong."

Very, very wrong.

He looked into my eyes searchingly. "I know."

"We're friends."

"Yes." His eyes went down on my lips and he took a sharp intake of breath.

I could come up with one hundred and one reasons why this is wrong but my mind couldn't function well. I blame it on the beer and cake I had at Ino's.

"We're both guys." I wanted to scream. I wanted to bolt out but I can't I was stuck on my seat waiting on what is about to happen, waiting in earnest. Man, I'm so screwed up.

He closed his eyes a bit but opened it after a second, his eyes are already glazed. "And we're both straight."

Oh. Yeah, that too.

Shit!

_**Flashback**_

"_**And the next time you two kiss…you know you like her is when you forget anything, anyone, who you are, what she is…all reasons are all gone the drain...and the only thing that matter is that you want to kiss her…" **_

_**End of Flashback**_

Double shit!

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

* * *

**Late_Sleeper: **The next chapter is already done and ready to be uploaded but you know, there's a….umm…this and…that…so…yeah. Sayonara! Lurkdom here I come again! -goes into hiding-


	11. XI

**How I Became Gay**

**By: Late-Sleeper**

**Beta-reader: ****Pay Backs a Bitch**

**

* * *

Chapter 11: …then the evil witch came…**

* * *

"Oi! Are you gonna rot here in your room or what?" Kiba threw a sock at my face and grinned.

"Leave me alone dog-breath." I shouted back then hurriedly lied down on bed and covered my self with a blanket.

"Aww…is our little girl having her period today?" Kiba walked towards my bed and sat on it. "Do you want me to buy you a napkin?" He patted my butt.

"Go to hell Kiba!"

"What's wrong with you?" His voice suddenly grew serious. Do I dare say it? Would I admit it?

"Kiba…" I uncovered myself and stared at him with sadness.

"Hmm…"

"I'm gay." He looked at me for a second or two. He also stared at my hair and my painted nails and also down the bed where my bunny slippers were located. "Uh huh."

I frowned. "KIBA! I'm fucking serious! As gay in every meaning of the word."

He too frowned and contemplated a bit. He was a slow one, so I wasn't really waiting for an immediate reaction from him.

"WHAT? As in the real deal? As in gay, gay? As in you want to get fuck on the butt gay?" He screamed and jumped off my bed and ran away from it as if I had a disease or something. I covered my face with both my hands. "Yes."

"Are you sure? As in really, really sure?" He moved in a bit closer to where I was. "Yes. Fuck! How could I fall in love, much more to a guy, a guy friend?" I look at him desperately.

He flinch a bit as he heard it. "Are…are you in love with _me_? You do know _I'm_ straight and even though you look like a girl with that hair clip and you have a cute butt…" He pondered for a second. "…fine maybe we could work it out." He grinned.

"Bastard! I'm fucking serious!"

"Fuck! You are? Shit! Just give me time to think this over okay before I answer you."

I grabbed onto a pillow and threw it at him. "Fucking conceited jerk! As if, I would fall for you. Even though I'm _now_ gay I still have taste." I snarled at him and wanted to puke at the same time as I remember his lips on mine. Gross.

He threw back the pillow at me and hit me straight on the face. "You're a sore loser. Just accept my rejection."

"Bastard! I like Sasuke." I angrily blurted out. I honestly heard the chirping of birds outside my window as we both went still and quiet.

After a few awkward second he started screaming. "WHAT? THE UCHIHA BASTARD? ARE YOU INSANE?"

I groaned and buried my face to the now abused pillow of mine and muffled the scream I've been keeping for so long.

"Man, you're a fucking dead man walking now." Kiba muttered thoughtfully and snickered like what he just said was funny.

"I know." I groaned.

"So what now?"

"I don't know…arghh I'm fucking confused!"

Both of us fell in a long awkward silence. It was only broken when Kiba gave a loud disgruntled sigh. "You know we need someone who's somewhat an expert in this kind of situation…" I looked at him quizzically.

He groaned in frustration at my stupid blank stare. "...about, you know…love, romance, being gay and shit like that…that mushy things girls babble about…"

"Oh."

"Besides, I think it's about time you finally tell Sakura the truth." I nodded absent-mindedly.

Wait…

What?

"Are you fucking retard? Sakura would kill me?"

"Well, I could pray for your soon to be departed corpse." Kiba made the sign of the cross and raised his head to heaven. I almost cried in frustration, why do I have stupid friends?

"ARGHHHHH!"

Kiba chuckled. He walked towards me and sat beside me. "Hey, are you really sure?"

"I told you I am." I growled lowly.

Kiba sigh loudly and got silent for a few seconds. I think he's getting serious by now. "As in really sure?"

Somehow the previous conversation we had had been replaying again. "Yes."

"How?"

"Huh?" I frowned at him. "How? How did you know you're gay?"

"Because I fucking kiss the Uchiha."

Kiba mouth turned into a 'o' shape. He kept silent again, which only increased my frustration.

"You kissed me too…but I'm not gay." I almost punched him but stopped midway, I could feel the seriousness of his tone. "I don't think I'll ever be."

"But…I felt it…I felt the butterflies…the palpitation…and all those shit girls babble about when one falls in love." Kiba tapped his chin softly and shrugged. "Yeah, I better think you should enlist Sakura's help…I don't even know what shit you are talking about…butterflies…che." I heard him snort the last part. I stared at him and vowed my head. Yeah, it's definitely time to face the music.

* * *

"Hey, what's up Naruto?" Sakura greeted me as she opened the door.

"Ah…hi."

She frowned and gave me the eye, the look that say's 'what-the-hell-are-you-up-to?' I didn't say anything, afraid that I might get killed before I even explained myself fully.

"So?"

"Uh….umm…well…"

"Naruto, do I have to physical hurt you before you speak or what?" Sakura cocked his fist at my face. Really, how come I became infatuated with such barbaric woman?

"I'm gay!" I hurriedly blurted out and instinctively covered my face with my arm, ready for the onslaught of Sakura's fist.

But none came. "What? You came here, then freaked me out for no apparent reason just to say the most obvious thing that you are gay? What the hell are you smoking?"

I blinked at her twice before getting what she was saying. "I mean…I'm straight…" I looked at her expectantly then continued. "…before."

Her jaw dropped a bit in shocked, this gave me the cue to distance myself from her.

I stepped backwards slowly, so not to further aggravate her. "Umm…you see…I was…straight…and then…hahaha…I think I no longer am."

Though I already made a few steps, Sakura hand shoot out to grab me faster than speeding bullet. I felt a choking sensation as she lifted me by my collar. "Explain. NOW!"

On which I humbly obliged in fear that she might kill me then and there. I won't repeat what I already told my millions of fans out there (insert collective snort and sneer here).

We went to her bedroom and sat on her bed and then I told her everything…

I told her about how I got afraid of Neji which started the whole fiasco down to the very last detail how I fell in love with the bastard.

So I was like blah, blah, blah, blah…and blah, blah.

Sakura was actually a dear, and listened to my story attentively with occasional ticking of a vein on her right temple. "So…umm…that's what happened."

Sakura shook her head and gave a loud disturbing sigh. She stared at me for a whole damn minute before finally speaking up. "You know…I really want to hurt you for concealing that to me for like three years. How can you do that? We even knew each other since elementary."

I pouted at her and bowed my head. "Sorry." I mumbled quietly.

"Though…I think you're already hurting too much now." I looked up to her gentle smile, and somehow it all came back to me why I had loved this girl for so long…if only my preference hadn't changed I would totally confessed to her right now.

"Arghhh…" Sakura suddenly cried out and then glared at me. Okay, turning into Mr. Hyde. "Be glad that I'm no longer a 100% Sasuke fan…or else I could have killed you now."

"eh…ehehehehe." I scooted a bit to distance myself from her as she chuckled evilly. "Be glad...be glad I also have Lee now, or else there's going blood to pay."

I scooted more and more, as far away as I could probably can. I let her have her 'insanity' moments as I cowered in a nearby corner.

She sighed loudly, out of frustration or out of what…I really don't know. "You know…this is actually my fault, partially. The thought of you being gay actually just played inside my mind…it was actually just a theory…"

What? You mean this whole fucking plot was just to prove a goddamn theory?

I looked at her with narrowed eyes, emphasizing that I was not pleased on what she just said. She actually just smiled at me with glee and gushes. "But you were always so cute if you were gay, which you are actually are now. See? You are meant to be gay."

On which that sentence didn't improve my now souring mood.

"Beside I thought back then that you'd look cute with…" She smirked at me and didn't continue with what she was saying. "Sasuke." I supplied begrudgingly.

"Hmmm…not telling."

Come on, how else would I look good at? And as if some _guy_ actually like me?

"How can you think that? I look like the boy-next-door type of guy!"

"Oh…come on…" Sakura rolled her eyes. "You fucking look good in a skirt and a hair clip. You're meant to be one."

"WHA?"

Sakura shook his head at my disbelief. "Besides I always knew you'll see the 'light' sooner or later…"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Naruto…" Sakura crawled closer to me and sigh. "You don't even notice girls…"

What? That's the biggest joke ever! I do notice girls. I like girls. I love girls. I could kill just to have a girl. "I do too!"

A snort escaped from Sakura's lips. "Then what about Hinata?"

"What about her?"

A hand suddenly whacked my head and I cowered and winced. "She likes you, you baka!"

"WHAT?"

"See? You didn't even realize it. I bet you didn't know that Haruko and the blond bimbo she's always with liked you?"

I shook my head as my eyes went huge with every girl she mentioned. Damn! I was that popular? Heh, damn!

"See? You're a fucking dense idiot."

I thought about it for a moment or two. Okay, I was dense…and blind…but it's all because I was…

"I was in love with you." Oops I think I blurted that out loud.

"What?"

Che! who's the dense idiot now.

"I said I was in love with you…that's why I never noticed anyone except…well…you…"

A long awkward pause ensued. Neither of us spoke nor moved.

Feeling fed up with the suffocating tension I looked up and stared at Sakura who's now exhibiting a flushing worried face. I felt that this would really strained the already fucked up friendship we have, and I hate to loose another one when I know that I would loose Sasuke for sure when I confessed to him. I needed to patch this up. "Don't worry…I don't feel the same now…I told you I like Sasuke now…"

Sakura's face flushed brighter but at least she smiled at me, even though it was a bit strain.

I gave her two thumbs up and wiggled my thumbs as I smiled at her. She too raised a thumb and chuckled at my silly face. So, like before, we're okay now.

"Since it all came to this…" She blushed again, remembering that the whole thing was actually 75% her fault. "Umm…what are you going to do?"

"I…I don't know…confess, maybe?"

Sakura smirked at me and held my two hands. "Good. I'd make it up all of the wrong things I've done by helping you."

I had to smile at that, even though the whole fucking scene felt too cliché and very girly.

**

* * *

To be continued…**

* * *

**Late_Sleeper: **I'm half way out of "this and that"…though not really…sigh… but as I promised someone, here it is…

**Late_Sleeper:** Anyway…since I'm bored I wanna propose a contest! Yes! A contest! (put collective screams here via a tape). I'd post the next chapter if someone guessed what my profession is. Only one guess per person, even if you guess multiple times, your first answer will be your final answer. (I know! I know, I'm really bored)

Here's the clue about me:

I'm afraid of heights

I like horror movies but is scared to death if I watched one

I love chocolates

I hate needles

I have braces

I hate reading…books

My usual daily routine if I don't have (gasp) work is…sleep…internet…eat…internet…internet…internet…eat…internet…sleep

I shiver when I see blood

I love watching comedy-romantic koreanovela

I love cute boys

I always write because I'm afraid to rely on my memory

I'm old, really old at least in terms of fanfic is concern

I love mystery type of books, fanfic etc

I prefer to sleep more than eating

I love yaoi and I'm a pervert

So that's it. hahahaha (goes back to sleep) poke me once you have an answer, if none...yeah...just lemme sleep


End file.
